~"Behind Every Moment Of My Life..."~

Hello...my name is Benny Liew and definitely you all knows me in this story.I wanted to tell you all that...the two post which is "Something The Past Written In Me 1 and 2,written by Wendyll Lei" was an old but yet a memory that I ever being experienced...and that's the moment she only writes to me...and someone who bring us joy of life...~


  Wendyll Lei...who she is a strong person,energetic...and better yet,brave,caring and loving person.The moment I met her since I was 5,she was a good person...cute..and yet she is known for her scream that time.Hahaha...
 But now...well...for all this 6 months of 2010 memories...it was stun and touch by my heart.I felt nothing at the beginning and yet my life started to changed.
       And the truth has revealed that....


 Wendyll Lei has passed away...in peace and never sorrows...yet show the true meaning of life.She passed all her time and appreciated every moment in this place.Wonder how's she doing here and up there...but no one knows.


 And so does my brother,Lawrence A.Laie....thinking about the world seems not really big or small yet all is one and one is all.We all miss you...


       There is a poem....I call it...Unending Night...



~At the end of my memories, I searched for the future plans of my ideals,
~I feared something, I couldn’t understand what…so I shivered in loneliness.
~Without showing it, you always smiled gracefully...
     and embraced me in you arms....


~As if awakening, I fell in love.........
      and took you into my dreams..........
~But you’ve always tenderly lied and hurt to me…




~Without saying anything, the reason for my hesitation, that reason for my own                              selfishness and out of fear,
~I made it our vow.
~Without being hugged,your invinsible feelings, you gracefully smiled..
and aimed for the unending night…




~We’ve become so distant that time stopped, our distance become a song…
I’ve waited…I’ve always waited
for that time when we saw the shooting stars…








~It's an unending night for us...till we've gone... 




...and My World Spins Around You...



With a piece of the shining white cloud......
I wait for you again today on this sunny hill...........
Looking up at the sky as I whisper the pinky promise.......
We made one day in the sunlight..........


Just by having you laughing next to me............
I feel like I can try harder no matter what kind of day it may be...........
If we can spend our happy times and sad times together..........
The music we can hear becomes eternal.........




Even on rainy days or windy days.......
I will wait for you on this hill everyday.........
Filling it up with the important moments.........
That we piled up in the repeating days..........


If I gaze at the grass where the small shadows line up.............
My world full of you begins to spin.......
If the answer can be found in our hands held together........
I can believe that anything can be done..........


Even that secret wish of yours that is hiding behind the quiet voice............
I understand it so I'll make it come true............


If the small shadows line up and start walking from here............
My world full of you begins to spin..............
The gentle feeling that gathers in our hands held together...............
Let's carry everything and go as we hum the distant song.....










 Year 2012...


   Today......I will never give up...and  I will not surrender even how tough can it be.And also keep up my work...my love...my time..and enjoy every moment that have it today....and also renew my life and never turn back.
             I will never turn back my old life...and I will face front my present and the future of a new life.


     Who knows...what has wait against me....




Dedicated to:
           (Wendyll Lei>13,March.1996-- 14,January.2010) "~For who leaves without fear and beloved."~
           
(Lawrence A.Laie>17,November.1996--17,July.2007)"~Everyone has a memory between every distance."~




           Life is like a music...
                               There is a beginning...
                  And the end...
               You already hears nothing but the future within...




                                                                         Benny Liew~~~

Something The Past Written In Me-2-(written by Wendyll Lei)

A Lifetime And Wonderful Day with you~

I still remember my lifetime with you and Lawrence.When I return to Raub last 6 month ago,I saw you and you still looks like him.More than him and you looks like the person we use to care and sharing and in this lifetime too.
Sigh...
    I wish I can meet you again but I wish I could.I always had a dream that we always play near the lake.We always sing songs and you always play the harmonica that time while Lawrence always clap his hand together with me.Then we always talk about our future,want to become a great writer,musician and his dream is want to become a great teacher.We always talk about our problems too that time.
   Until one day....
 He has gone and he leave a message to us.."never break up and I wish to be with you all again,brother and sister."..and that was I heard when you hold his left hand and I holding his right hand.He blew his last breath.And I still remember your eyes tears slowly flow from your heart to your eyes.I was about the same with you.Your heart breaks I know,just like mine too.It was 3 years ago.
   I still remember your phrases to us.."There is no way we can give up in life cause every life is so important to the future."
Then..on the last day farewell  your message to him were just "farewell,brother." and you leave me alone on that time..and I had to go KL and stay for 3 years until this year.
               This year..I had a good day and good month,time and we almost spend time together this year and my parents were proud of you that you were in the Chart of The Year. Especially my dad that now he retired from his old company and working to another company.
   Until today I can still remember how you teach me many things like dancing,gaming and music and also many things especially that you read many stories to me.
 I was so happy to meet you again this year.
        And also I met your friends too.
Sometimes you protect me from danger too like that day..you help me from that man try to rob me.
I still remember your stories about this man who struggle hard to find money for his wife and children until one day he had to do many crimes for his families and end up to death.And I still remember the ending of the stories too.His sons were success in his life.And the other one was how this boy always found his real dreams and the boy it was you,who found his dream now and today.
     It was a wonderful time and this world maybe always meant for something.
 Although we both were just friend but I can feel we are more than that.We are best friends and I even though we can be great friends instead.
  Remember the ring I gave you and you don't know how to read Chinese.It means "BEST FRIENDS FOREVER" and remember the memorial chain that you are wearing by the name BENNEDICT L.N..I know it was memorial of him.I saw you always wearing it.
 Now...
  I know many things..I know that you got angry issue sometimes but you can keep patient.
          I also know sometimes you can be rude for certain reason and you can be honest and many things.And you are the most weirdest,kind and the best person I ever met.I wonder if there any boys that are like this.It's rare.
      Even your friend told me that you are good and friendly too.Like Diana Wen Shi told me once before.I was happy to talk to her last 3 days ago.Even Wai Hong and Uncle Peter too they share many things to me.
 Ben,I know you will had a wonderful future lifetime if you success hard always.
             Ben,I also know you can do it just like you told me that "Nothing is impossible after all."
I miss you so much.Even though many people can read this I know I can share something to the world too.
              And today I wanna wish you luck even though you don't believe in luck sometimes but I wish you the best in this year PMR and so on till your life.
       Actually I want to tell you that..once you told me before too "We may not meet again,but we may not forget each other."
 And also Ben,thanks a lot.Thank you so much for this meaningful friendship between us.If you read this,I know you gonna cry and I'm sad too now.My tears flowing but I'm happy to know you.I am very happy now cause,you are now safe and sound so do I.And you might happy with your new life too.So do I.And today I wanna tell you that I am grateful with you always.Always in my heart.
  Ben...
                                        I love you so much..as someone I ever know forever and ever and ever and ever and ever...
See you soon^^..
                     And Wen Shi,thanks for your sharing that day.

Something The Past Written In Me-1-(written by Wendyll Lei)

He is a cunning,weird,friendly,lovely,caring,cute,cuddly,silent,good,talented and a great friend.But sometimes he always had very bad temper and little naive.Hahaha.LOL!
His name is Benny Liew,a boy I've ever met in my lifetime.He is the weirdest of all.Haha.
But one thing about him is..am I crush on him?If he read this sure he feeling sorry about it.
About my life with him---

    I met Benny since I was 4 years old and also another boy too name Lawrence A.Laei.But Lawrence already pass away.Umm..my life with Ben now still normal except we both very far away now.

My life with him..

When I met him at the bus stop last 6 month ago,he was tall,good looking person and.

On the first day he take me to a park where this place a lot of change already.I walk with him that day and look all the beautiful lotus flower.It was a good place and nice too.
  One day he was sad and he was holding a book with a chain written "Bennedict L.N".I look at his face and I ask why to him.he told me he always had bad dreams and always dream of something bad to him.He always pray and I saw his face were so sleepy and his eyes like tears raining.
One time also I was scared of thunder.I stay with him that night at a villa.We all friends were together too.I ask him to tell me a story that night before I sleep.He told me a lot of stories.I know he worry about me and the thunder so he had to sleep at the couch in my room.LOL..
Another thing also that you did a lot of things for me.Like you force to carry me because I want you to carry me.Haha..always shy on girl.
Sometimes I always had to do my work after we both join a band.We always had fun and love music.Remember we both travel with my dad to KL for taking your sign in" Chart of The Year"?Then I fell asleep and sleep on your shoulder.It was comfortable and you just scared too.I know you try to remove my head but you give up and leave it.Haha.LOL..I saw it already^^
Umm...
You also teach me a lot things like skateboard,dancing,singing,reading and a lot one.Like that day accidental knock on your head and step your leg while you teach me dance.And also skateboard spoiled already also.But you always told me don't give up.I never give up.
  Remember ma umm..you teach me how to play computer games like Left 4 Dead and Red Alert 3?It was fun and nice also.I like boys games sometimes.LOL..haha.And remember we watch a show until we all scared already call this show is "Paranormal Activity".I was so scared and had to hold your hand.And you were so shock and drop down from the chair already cause I hold your hand and you thought what was that thing one.Haha..LOL.haiz...you really scare ar?
One day also your hair is long and I take your hair and style it.Remember ma?I put a lot of gel and sticky on your hair.You just laugh and play play with it.it was nice looking.Haha.And also you take my hair and make become like all straight up one.Haha.I love your hair style.haha..
Last time when I saw your art is really beautiful and nice.You were drawing two people standing and not face each other.One was you and me.Haha.I know de.And you got shock that I take your drawing and sign it write there "Good luck".Haha..
And also I know you always hate people said this and that to you but you keep patient one.
Remember I hold your hand you feel like want to let go?I know you still always scared but I hold harder and your hand a bit pain.You want to release but I don't want.Cause you so naive one.haha..
One day also I saw you were alone at the shop drinking with your friends that afternoon.I wanted to be with you but all your friends there.So I brave to go there and seat next to you and you got shock.You ask me to sit down and I seat.Your friend suspect we both always.Remember them ma?They ask me who am I la..this la..that la.haha.I tell them I was your best friend and hold your hand again.I can see your face red like hot fire one de.
Sometimes you always go town alone until on that day I always follow you to town.Sometimes I see a lot things there also.Sometimes we both spend time see stars at night also got.Until late night also got too and you scare me you said you saw U.F.O.hahahahahahaXD!!I was laugh crazy already that time.And you were joking with me.
Umm...what again ya?
Oh yah!You also got help me and my father to do musical and work for him.You were playing the harmonica and guitar.It was nice and beautiful.We took and mark it well.Remember you sing this song "In My Life".I was sing with you.You were so happy and cute looking.Your voice is so nice and deeply cool.
You also protect me from someone who almost take me handbag.You were so angry and punch him so hard.I was so scared and never see you like this before.I was so so so scared.
I got a lot story to tell but want to write lazy already oo.
He is the best best best person I ever met.He teach me lots lots of things.Like religion of Christianity,games and many many things de la.
Umm..but I still remember I ask you one crazy question..DO YOU LOVE ME?
 And the answer you did not answer at all one.
Umm..
and also that night I still remember where you were going to the hospital and you were fainted because you had anemia.I was so worry of you so much.I don't know what was happen to you.I was so scared and it remind me of Lawrence.I was crying and you finally fine and okay.I was scared.
 Actually I want to tell you that I know you a lot and you are my best soulmate.No other people can replace you.
But one day..
I had to leave from here...and we both might cannot meet again but our hearts and link again.And I kiss you for the last time ever on that day at the airport.I was weird why are we doing something stupid.But..we just normal right?Nothing special right?


  I had crush on you that time..but I don't know you with me or not.I don't know why that you are the person who link with me.Ben,I love you.I know you can't take it but we both are best friends.I hope we can meet again always now.It's been 10 years from now since we are best friends.Even your friend(don't want tell you who) tell me you are weird and kind and many many more la.Umm..this is my homework to you.I hope you can read it somehow.Okay la..I want to go now and I hope we can meet again.See you..muahh^^

Ben,I love you.
   I will see you soon^^
To Benny Liew Nogen.And memory of Lawrence A.Laie``

Good Bye-THE END

Time:02.40pm
Date:24,June.2010
Location:In my room..now...


I was wondering to write/type my last diary today and as I thought...I'll write it.

This one is about the last moment of my friendship with Wendyll....


Time:04.30pm
Date:21,June.2010
Location:KLIA(Kuala Lumpur International Airport)

On that last moment...

Wendyll was together with her parents at the airport station.Before we all when off..I was there with my friends a group and together with the villa residence too.

This is my last note with her.

"Wendyll...is this goodbye?"

"I think so.."she said and her tears weeping.

I hold her hand and said..."good bye.." and she had to go off....and before that she kiss my lips for a last time.....with thickness..... unforgettable memory...and when she turn her face towards me.....her tears show a meaning of sadness.Her parents also thank me on the day that I take care of her in the villa.
My tears flow slowly and like I can't take it off away what has dream off.Looks like it's the end for us now.
When she enter the port..and she was gone...and had to went off now....

Her last word to me was...."Ben...there is another future awaiting for you...and you'll find another for it."


IN MY MEMORIAL LIFE FOR THIS DAY.........THIS IS GOODBYE.....AND GOOD BYE...IS ONE OF THE BITTER MEMORY....AND FOR YOU...FIND A NEW FUTURE...ALWAYS HAD A CHANCE IN LIFE....WE MAY NEVER MEET AGAIN BUT I'LL REMEMBER YOU....AND WE MAY NOT KNOW AGAIN...AND MY FUTURE MAYBE TOWARDS OTHERS....GOODBYE....MY DEAR FRIEND......


.......and until today..I had to leave the villa and keep in touch with Ooya and the others...looks like....we all had leave...and this was my real good bye...and Lawrence...your lucky...bye....

GOOD BYE...FRIENDS......~~



THE END....(Benny Liew..........)~~

Its End Here...

Goodbye....my friends.....you had been the one for me...and I'll stop here..cause..there is a bother...that I won't want to know anymore.......see you all......GOODBYE.....and sorry.....






SEE YOU SOON.................................................(Benny Liew)

Postpone......

Permanent two weeks without blog........



Standing by for next online...