Time:02.40pm
Date:24,June.2010
Location:In my room..now...
I was wondering to write/type my last diary today and as I thought...I'll write it.
This one is about the last moment of my friendship with Wendyll....
Time:04.30pm
Date:21,June.2010
Location:KLIA(Kuala Lumpur International Airport)
On that last moment...
Wendyll was together with her parents at the airport station.Before we all when off..I was there with my friends a group and together with the villa residence too.
This is my last note with her.
"Wendyll...is this goodbye?"
"I think so.."she said and her tears weeping.
I hold her hand and said..."good bye.." and she had to go off....and before that she kiss my lips for a last time.....with thickness..... unforgettable memory...and when she turn her face towards me.....her tears show a meaning of sadness.Her parents also thank me on the day that I take care of her in the villa.
My tears flow slowly and like I can't take it off away what has dream off.Looks like it's the end for us now.
When she enter the port..and she was gone...and had to went off now....
Her last word to me was...."Ben...there is another future awaiting for you...and you'll find another for it."
IN MY MEMORIAL LIFE FOR THIS DAY.........THIS IS GOODBYE.....AND GOOD BYE...IS ONE OF THE BITTER MEMORY....AND FOR YOU...FIND A NEW FUTURE...ALWAYS HAD A CHANCE IN LIFE....WE MAY NEVER MEET AGAIN BUT I'LL REMEMBER YOU....AND WE MAY NOT KNOW AGAIN...AND MY FUTURE MAYBE TOWARDS OTHERS....GOODBYE....MY DEAR FRIEND......
.......and until today..I had to leave the villa and keep in touch with Ooya and the others...looks like....we all had leave...and this was my real good bye...and Lawrence...your lucky...bye....
GOOD BYE...FRIENDS......~~
THE END....(Benny Liew..........)~~
Thursday, June 24, 2010
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
Its End Here...
Goodbye....my friends.....you had been the one for me...and I'll stop here..cause..there is a bother...that I won't want to know anymore.......see you all......GOODBYE.....and sorry.....
SEE YOU SOON.................................................(Benny Liew)
SEE YOU SOON.................................................(Benny Liew)
Sunday, June 6, 2010
Saturday, June 5, 2010
Looks like I won't going to blog...
Time:12.38am
Date:05.June.2010
Location:In my room...
Looks like I'm not going to blog.Sigh...at least..I will blog a series of my nightmare stories...well..at least.
The reason for I not blogging this cause...I won;t be on special..I mean...day...of my real life.
Looks like I gonna write my nightmares....
To Be Continued................
Benny Liew...............(Two weeks is on the run...)...............
Date:05.June.2010
Location:In my room...
Looks like I'm not going to blog.Sigh...at least..I will blog a series of my nightmare stories...well..at least.
The reason for I not blogging this cause...I won;t be on special..I mean...day...of my real life.
Looks like I gonna write my nightmares....
To Be Continued................
Benny Liew...............(Two weeks is on the run...)...............
Friday, June 4, 2010
Are You or Me??
Time:12.21am
Date:04.June.2010
Location:My room...
Now...I am alone..and I would prefer it that I am not alone...and I was asleep at 10.30pm...and I awake with my nightmares...
It was like....this...
That time...it was a dream I thought and I saw a road...where it head to a place..and I move...and saw a bird...and it flew away...as I follow it..the man appeared behind me and hold my shoulder...and I look at him....as he smiles at me.
Then...he's gone..and I look at the place again..with another three figures..and this time...it's her again.
I heard a laugh and she walks by...I heard a chuckled as she walks in and I heard..a cry as I walk in...and she repeat her words three times..."Ben...stay away.." and i walk further...her face look at me and I straightly awake....and I was sweating and my brother was looking at me and said..
"What the f**k are you dreaming?"
"Nothing"
And he went out and said..."Good night"...he gave me a cup of water and close the door...
I look at my hands..and I lay down my head...and cried.....and then...I wish to blog it..and I wake up and on my laptop...
I saw the figure face were in all black aura just like once I did a black aura when I dream the first time....and our eyes were really exactly pale yellow red...I try to stop it..but IT bugging my mind so much till it so hurt!!...
I wish to stop now....
Now..I wish I was with her now..and my nightmares is just the beginning....
To Be Continued...............
Benny Liew................(Beginning of it.....)..........................
Date:04.June.2010
Location:My room...
Now...I am alone..and I would prefer it that I am not alone...and I was asleep at 10.30pm...and I awake with my nightmares...
It was like....this...
That time...it was a dream I thought and I saw a road...where it head to a place..and I move...and saw a bird...and it flew away...as I follow it..the man appeared behind me and hold my shoulder...and I look at him....as he smiles at me.
Then...he's gone..and I look at the place again..with another three figures..and this time...it's her again.
I heard a laugh and she walks by...I heard a chuckled as she walks in and I heard..a cry as I walk in...and she repeat her words three times..."Ben...stay away.." and i walk further...her face look at me and I straightly awake....and I was sweating and my brother was looking at me and said..
"What the f**k are you dreaming?"
"Nothing"
And he went out and said..."Good night"...he gave me a cup of water and close the door...
I look at my hands..and I lay down my head...and cried.....and then...I wish to blog it..and I wake up and on my laptop...
I saw the figure face were in all black aura just like once I did a black aura when I dream the first time....and our eyes were really exactly pale yellow red...I try to stop it..but IT bugging my mind so much till it so hurt!!...
I wish to stop now....
Now..I wish I was with her now..and my nightmares is just the beginning....
To Be Continued...............
Benny Liew................(Beginning of it.....)..........................
Thursday, June 3, 2010
Unending Night...
At the end of my memories, I searched for the future plans of my ideals,
I feared something, I couldn’t understand what…so I shivered in loneliness.
Without showing it, you always smiled gracefully
and embraced me in you arms.
As if awakening, I fell in love
and took you into my dreams.
But you’ve always, you have always,
tenderly lied to me…
Without saying anything, the reason for my hesitation, that reason
for my own selfishness and out of fear, I made it our vow.
Without being hugged, you’ve always gracefully smiled
and aimed for the unending night…
As if awakening, I fell in love
and took you into my dreams.
But you’ve always, you have always,
tenderly hurt me…
With your invinsible feelings, you gracefully smiled
and aimed for the unending night…
We’ve become so distant that time stopped, our distance become a song…
I’ve waited…I’ve always waited
for that time when we saw the shooting stars…
It's an unending night for us...till we gone...
Benny Liew.....
I feared something, I couldn’t understand what…so I shivered in loneliness.
Without showing it, you always smiled gracefully
and embraced me in you arms.
As if awakening, I fell in love
and took you into my dreams.
But you’ve always, you have always,
tenderly lied to me…
Without saying anything, the reason for my hesitation, that reason
for my own selfishness and out of fear, I made it our vow.
Without being hugged, you’ve always gracefully smiled
and aimed for the unending night…
As if awakening, I fell in love
and took you into my dreams.
But you’ve always, you have always,
tenderly hurt me…
With your invinsible feelings, you gracefully smiled
and aimed for the unending night…
We’ve become so distant that time stopped, our distance become a song…
I’ve waited…I’ve always waited
for that time when we saw the shooting stars…
It's an unending night for us...till we gone...
Benny Liew.....
Figure three..
Time:02.17pm
Date:03.June.2010
Location:My room...
I being alone now...cause...I had to reason..my friends...like they are dying on me....why???
Time:Midnight...
Date:20.May.2010
The man who in my dreams spoke about wonders of death in life...and I just go a walk with his words and feel to another puzzle which a good question to be ask///"Where the hell am I?"
I look back and saw 3 figures....it was Wendyll....Lawrence and who???...Who was the other figure...she look very familiar but...who is she?
Then...they all disappear and I was awake...and look around..with my body sweating worse...I cried and lie down back...as I look at my phone it was still a fresh midnight...that is 02.40am...and I look forward...
Who is she......I wonder...who is the figure on the left near Wendyll??
I don't want to remind at it anymore...but I will find out in this freaking nightmare......by myself...
To Be Continued..........
Benny Liew.......(Incursion dreams in my soul...........)..................
Date:03.June.2010
Location:My room...
I being alone now...cause...I had to reason..my friends...like they are dying on me....why???
Time:Midnight...
Date:20.May.2010
The man who in my dreams spoke about wonders of death in life...and I just go a walk with his words and feel to another puzzle which a good question to be ask///"Where the hell am I?"
I look back and saw 3 figures....it was Wendyll....Lawrence and who???...Who was the other figure...she look very familiar but...who is she?
Then...they all disappear and I was awake...and look around..with my body sweating worse...I cried and lie down back...as I look at my phone it was still a fresh midnight...that is 02.40am...and I look forward...
Who is she......I wonder...who is the figure on the left near Wendyll??
I don't want to remind at it anymore...but I will find out in this freaking nightmare......by myself...
To Be Continued..........
Benny Liew.......(Incursion dreams in my soul...........)..................
Look At One Day...
Time:02.04pm
Date:03.June.2010
Location:In my room...home...
It has been weeks I haven't blog..I wish to go back to the villa..but....I wonder..how is she now?
I was here..at home...waiting for my week to return and...my father doesn't allow me to return instead staying here.
What about Wendyll???
Date:30.May.2010
Location:Home....
I was alone at home...and thinking what am I doing here now...as I look outside..I wish to walk and around with Rocky and Lucky...since they two like to have a walk with their master.
I took them both at the river and feel myself...it was windy...and the sun didn't show up much.
I see my two dogs relax and sat down..as I look at the river and saw a few people fishing...
Then...I remind myself to Law...another dog....and I look at Rocky...and he look at me and jump on me....I shake his head and walk home...and feel disappointed...
It reminds me a lot of things...that we had go on....
Now....sad...
Now....lonely....
Now....what to do???
Now....I had a day for a chance...and a chance of a useless fence....sigh.......wish I could stop now.....
To Be Continued.................
Benny Liew........(Nothing....empty..... disappointed...)........................
Date:03.June.2010
Location:In my room...home...
It has been weeks I haven't blog..I wish to go back to the villa..but....I wonder..how is she now?
I was here..at home...waiting for my week to return and...my father doesn't allow me to return instead staying here.
What about Wendyll???
Date:30.May.2010
Location:Home....
I was alone at home...and thinking what am I doing here now...as I look outside..I wish to walk and around with Rocky and Lucky...since they two like to have a walk with their master.
I took them both at the river and feel myself...it was windy...and the sun didn't show up much.
I see my two dogs relax and sat down..as I look at the river and saw a few people fishing...
Then...I remind myself to Law...another dog....and I look at Rocky...and he look at me and jump on me....I shake his head and walk home...and feel disappointed...
It reminds me a lot of things...that we had go on....
Now....sad...
Now....lonely....
Now....what to do???
Now....I had a day for a chance...and a chance of a useless fence....sigh.......wish I could stop now.....
To Be Continued.................
Benny Liew........(Nothing....empty..... disappointed...)........................
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
Nothings end..
Scream as much as I can,
Till it goes to the end,
Fill of sick and dreaded with again,
I wish I wasn't to be meant in my lifespan.
But I got a hope,
Like a rope never break,
I has a loop and loop,
And loop I will see you in doubt again...
Benny Liew......................
Till it goes to the end,
Fill of sick and dreaded with again,
I wish I wasn't to be meant in my lifespan.
But I got a hope,
Like a rope never break,
I has a loop and loop,
And loop I will see you in doubt again...
Benny Liew......................
What I did bad?
As usual..in life...I got a felling that life..wasn't fair enough to me.I was taught to learn many things but....can I do it in my hope so?
I did before sins...did you?
I did before deeds...did you?
I did before murderer of life...did you?
I did many things...like almost unleash madness...and didn't know what is next....sigh...what has on it?
Damn for all of lust and madness....damn...fool!!
When...I will...go on...and...I'm sorry...my dear...all of you...
I did before sins...did you?
I did before deeds...did you?
I did before murderer of life...did you?
I did many things...like almost unleash madness...and didn't know what is next....sigh...what has on it?
Damn for all of lust and madness....damn...fool!!
When...I will...go on...and...I'm sorry...my dear...all of you...
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
That Night of Sadness
Time:11.14pm
date:25.May.2010
Location:My own room...
I was so busy of studying and I had to blog last two days about before I going home for a week.So..tonight I got a little time to blog..
I was....feeling guilt that I did not tell my dear friend about...until she cries on me....
What have I done???...sigh....she was crying of me cause...I didn't tell her about my nightmare that always scared me...and one night before I leave her home for a week...
Time:09.40pm
Date:22.May.2010
Location:Room 14...
That night was the most guilt night...and she hold my shirt and cry on me..and beg me..why am I like this?
She was crazy...and ask me to stop this dream.I can't..and she cry sobbed like her tears fell every second.
She told me.."Why are you always avoid us when we are off away?"
As I told her "I don't know..."
Now this is making me worse.
She hold my back tight and ask me and why are you dream...and why am I...doing this to avoid all things up.
I hope and wish to be left by myself there...and I doesn't know what to do now...on that night I dream to wish this dream wasn't true...but...it's a de-ja-vu...
SIGH......
Then...her eyes made my shoulder wet..and wet and make my hand froze.I can feel her heartbeat for a while...and she was sobbed for a while.
As then...her eyes slowly close...and I just look at her....and she started to wake...and slap me in the face...then...she started to laugh....
I wonder why....her slap...haha....she said to me..."Ben...don't make us worry...and I hope...your nightmare will disappear..."
I took her hand..and said..."I hope so."..
My face with the red marks remind of a slap from a friend...and make me not to worry much on that dreams.
I hope so...
Then....she hold my touch my chest side and said.."Your heartbeat is slow..you should rest"..and look at my eyes that turn black and pale.I did not sleep for two days that time cause...I was busy a little and having to avoid...sigh...nevermind...
Later...she wanted to go to bed..and I take her there...and said a goodnight forehead kiss..and I went back to my room...and go back to her room..and I wanted to tell her another thing that....actually..in our life...nevermind...at the end you'll know.
Time:05.00am
Date:23.May.2010
Location:Room 14...
I was resting and...finished pack up...and had a hot bath made by myself.I was the only one who awake and suddenly.....Sumi awake and heading to the kitchen.I was finish bath and change that time.Then...I went to the kitchen and ask her..."Why are you here?"..and she said.."Oh!!...I hungry a bit.."..and I sweated!!!
She took a few potato chips and ask me if I wanted to share with her and I said.."Okay.."..and then..we head to the garden and eat together.
Time:Between 06.00am
Location:Garden side...
I was seating on the bench and look at the grass that is wet and fill with many greenery...and then,Sumi pop out the Shandy can..and drank.I told her that drink beer in the morning is not good and stop drink and said.."Your right"..and then..she hand me over the potato chips and I open it up and eat some..and then..she start to ask me question...
"Why..we all live here?"
And I told her..freedom...and she start ask me again...
"Long enough?"...
"Maybe.."
"Why maybe?"
"Cause..."..and my tongue hang my answer for it.
"Because of Wendyll,right?"
I just nodded my head.
She sigh at me and said..."Life always fell...like me..no family at all but still can leave alone."
I look at my hand and hold the ring.
"Hmm...you two not gonna stay here longer but what about us?"she ask me again.
"I don't know...maybe...I and Wendy meant to be separated"I told her.
"I know I know...you two..lost a twin..right?"she said in her soft tone.
I just nodded my head again.
She hold my back and said.."Hey..don't be sad.I understand what is the meaning of lost a family.You just lost a brother and I lost my both family."
"Sorry"I told her...and she chuckled laugh at me.
I really don't understand...she can be so happy now even she lost her family...but before that she was sad that time...and change a lot after we move in...and she said...
"Thank you"she smiled..
"Why?"I was curious..
"Cause..you help me a lot together with Wendyll"
"Err...I don't know...that will happen"I scratch my head.
Then...she gave me a hug a while and said thanks again..and going to her room...and I was grateful to help a person..but...can I help myself?
SURE CAN!
Time:Between 08.00am
Location:Room 14....
Wendy woke up and went to my room..and I wasn't sleeping instead I was reading a book...and she knock the door...and I open it.
She said..
"Sorry..about yesterday."she was regret herself.
"Nevermind.."I hold her shoulder...
"Ben..one week..will you be fine?"she look at me...
"I will!!"like Sumi told me this morning...
Then...she hold the ring and said..."Don't lost it...and I will hope for you always...as always."
I told her.."I will."
Then...Ka Zi call me up..cause..I was about to leaving.She said hurry up cause...I had to go to church later...so...I hold Wendyll hand and give a headkiss..and Ka Zi said..
"Young love..as always.."
I look at her and laugh...a bit.Wendyll said...
"Not as long.."
And I went in to her car....and she wave me "See you"..and not goodbye...
And I look at her...inside the car..and Ka Zi said..."ready?"
...
I tell her "Okay"...
Time:09.00am
Location:Church....
I thank to Ka Zi that she send me home...and I was at home as my dogs.."Rock and Lucky"..greets me...while surround me.I seat down and hug both of them and then...my brother open the door for me...and said..."Hey...come on in."..==''...with his silly cloth.
Then..I went to church.....
I look at all my youth brothers and sisters...and look at my ring....and my friends....and hope for them...were fragile...sigh.......
Then...Rebecca..one of my sister youth...said..."Wish you luck in exam"..and I thank her..and also...I wish everyone too...who had exam for this year...later...I went home...at 02.00pm...........
Time:11.30am
Location:School(SMKTK)
Date:24.may.2010
As always in school...miss old friends...as usual...sigh...wish I can Fong again..i wonder where the hell is him??...Always don't online....jeez....
Then...I ask Riby...and she said.."He only online for two hours a week.."
WHAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!A WEEK FOR ONLY TWO HOURS!!???
Oh my...brother...what happen???
Man...if he online I better chat with him and ask him why..
Then...I went home....with walking...as usual cause...my house was a little near.
Time:Now....
Location:In my room...
Now...I miss Wendyll..Law...and my friends....wish they were here now...but only a week..and remember Riby words.."Thank and grateful"..and my head is up!!
Now....I know..I had this chance..for it....and also...I will study hard for this year PMR for everyone and make a day for it...and be a better way of it!!!Just like I did to Sumi...give her a hope to make her happy again.
Oh crap!!...Now my dad scold me cause..I was online till late...and now..I off the light and if my dad finds out that I online now...I'll be deadmeat...
Well.....I gotta go now...cause...exam...and I wish for everyone out there...who having exam...goodluck...and not just that...wish you all the best...and also...Riby...thanks for everything and Fong,my brother....thank you for everything...and also....I am proud to calling you.."Bro"....
Now....damn it!!...My hamster sleeping and....I was alone and....my dad scold me..."GO TO SLEEP!!!"...
Nevermind...I will go dad...as usual.....hahaha...well.....see you all later...cause...tomorrow exam...and wish you all luck!!!And try the best you all can!!!!!!!And Sumi...thank you...for everything...you help me that I help you...thank you...and I hope...you'll be happy as always...even without family...like me...just a small matter...and a lost brother....thank you...very much..
To Be Continued................................................
Benny Liew.....................(Missing you doesn't mean I can't see you...and I will see you all soon...and I will...see you...").........................................................
P.S..(All the dialog translated from Mandarin...to English..cause all of them speak Mandarin and I had to translate it)..=='
date:25.May.2010
Location:My own room...
I was so busy of studying and I had to blog last two days about before I going home for a week.So..tonight I got a little time to blog..
I was....feeling guilt that I did not tell my dear friend about...until she cries on me....
What have I done???...sigh....she was crying of me cause...I didn't tell her about my nightmare that always scared me...and one night before I leave her home for a week...
Time:09.40pm
Date:22.May.2010
Location:Room 14...
That night was the most guilt night...and she hold my shirt and cry on me..and beg me..why am I like this?
She was crazy...and ask me to stop this dream.I can't..and she cry sobbed like her tears fell every second.
She told me.."Why are you always avoid us when we are off away?"
As I told her "I don't know..."
Now this is making me worse.
She hold my back tight and ask me and why are you dream...and why am I...doing this to avoid all things up.
I hope and wish to be left by myself there...and I doesn't know what to do now...on that night I dream to wish this dream wasn't true...but...it's a de-ja-vu...
SIGH......
Then...her eyes made my shoulder wet..and wet and make my hand froze.I can feel her heartbeat for a while...and she was sobbed for a while.
As then...her eyes slowly close...and I just look at her....and she started to wake...and slap me in the face...then...she started to laugh....
I wonder why....her slap...haha....she said to me..."Ben...don't make us worry...and I hope...your nightmare will disappear..."
I took her hand..and said..."I hope so."..
My face with the red marks remind of a slap from a friend...and make me not to worry much on that dreams.
I hope so...
Then....she hold my touch my chest side and said.."Your heartbeat is slow..you should rest"..and look at my eyes that turn black and pale.I did not sleep for two days that time cause...I was busy a little and having to avoid...sigh...nevermind...
Later...she wanted to go to bed..and I take her there...and said a goodnight forehead kiss..and I went back to my room...and go back to her room..and I wanted to tell her another thing that....actually..in our life...nevermind...at the end you'll know.
Time:05.00am
Date:23.May.2010
Location:Room 14...
I was resting and...finished pack up...and had a hot bath made by myself.I was the only one who awake and suddenly.....Sumi awake and heading to the kitchen.I was finish bath and change that time.Then...I went to the kitchen and ask her..."Why are you here?"..and she said.."Oh!!...I hungry a bit.."..and I sweated!!!
She took a few potato chips and ask me if I wanted to share with her and I said.."Okay.."..and then..we head to the garden and eat together.
Time:Between 06.00am
Location:Garden side...
I was seating on the bench and look at the grass that is wet and fill with many greenery...and then,Sumi pop out the Shandy can..and drank.I told her that drink beer in the morning is not good and stop drink and said.."Your right"..and then..she hand me over the potato chips and I open it up and eat some..and then..she start to ask me question...
"Why..we all live here?"
And I told her..freedom...and she start ask me again...
"Long enough?"...
"Maybe.."
"Why maybe?"
"Cause..."..and my tongue hang my answer for it.
"Because of Wendyll,right?"
I just nodded my head.
She sigh at me and said..."Life always fell...like me..no family at all but still can leave alone."
I look at my hand and hold the ring.
"Hmm...you two not gonna stay here longer but what about us?"she ask me again.
"I don't know...maybe...I and Wendy meant to be separated"I told her.
"I know I know...you two..lost a twin..right?"she said in her soft tone.
I just nodded my head again.
She hold my back and said.."Hey..don't be sad.I understand what is the meaning of lost a family.You just lost a brother and I lost my both family."
"Sorry"I told her...and she chuckled laugh at me.
I really don't understand...she can be so happy now even she lost her family...but before that she was sad that time...and change a lot after we move in...and she said...
"Thank you"she smiled..
"Why?"I was curious..
"Cause..you help me a lot together with Wendyll"
"Err...I don't know...that will happen"I scratch my head.
Then...she gave me a hug a while and said thanks again..and going to her room...and I was grateful to help a person..but...can I help myself?
SURE CAN!
Time:Between 08.00am
Location:Room 14....
Wendy woke up and went to my room..and I wasn't sleeping instead I was reading a book...and she knock the door...and I open it.
She said..
"Sorry..about yesterday."she was regret herself.
"Nevermind.."I hold her shoulder...
"Ben..one week..will you be fine?"she look at me...
"I will!!"like Sumi told me this morning...
Then...she hold the ring and said..."Don't lost it...and I will hope for you always...as always."
I told her.."I will."
Then...Ka Zi call me up..cause..I was about to leaving.She said hurry up cause...I had to go to church later...so...I hold Wendyll hand and give a headkiss..and Ka Zi said..
"Young love..as always.."
I look at her and laugh...a bit.Wendyll said...
"Not as long.."
And I went in to her car....and she wave me "See you"..and not goodbye...
And I look at her...inside the car..and Ka Zi said..."ready?"
...
I tell her "Okay"...
Time:09.00am
Location:Church....
I thank to Ka Zi that she send me home...and I was at home as my dogs.."Rock and Lucky"..greets me...while surround me.I seat down and hug both of them and then...my brother open the door for me...and said..."Hey...come on in."..==''...with his silly cloth.
Then..I went to church.....
I look at all my youth brothers and sisters...and look at my ring....and my friends....and hope for them...were fragile...sigh.......
Then...Rebecca..one of my sister youth...said..."Wish you luck in exam"..and I thank her..and also...I wish everyone too...who had exam for this year...later...I went home...at 02.00pm...........
Time:11.30am
Location:School(SMKTK)
Date:24.may.2010
As always in school...miss old friends...as usual...sigh...wish I can Fong again..i wonder where the hell is him??...Always don't online....jeez....
Then...I ask Riby...and she said.."He only online for two hours a week.."
WHAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!A WEEK FOR ONLY TWO HOURS!!???
Oh my...brother...what happen???
Man...if he online I better chat with him and ask him why..
Then...I went home....with walking...as usual cause...my house was a little near.
Time:Now....
Location:In my room...
Now...I miss Wendyll..Law...and my friends....wish they were here now...but only a week..and remember Riby words.."Thank and grateful"..and my head is up!!
Now....I know..I had this chance..for it....and also...I will study hard for this year PMR for everyone and make a day for it...and be a better way of it!!!Just like I did to Sumi...give her a hope to make her happy again.
Oh crap!!...Now my dad scold me cause..I was online till late...and now..I off the light and if my dad finds out that I online now...I'll be deadmeat...
Well.....I gotta go now...cause...exam...and I wish for everyone out there...who having exam...goodluck...and not just that...wish you all the best...and also...Riby...thanks for everything and Fong,my brother....thank you for everything...and also....I am proud to calling you.."Bro"....
Now....damn it!!...My hamster sleeping and....I was alone and....my dad scold me..."GO TO SLEEP!!!"...
Nevermind...I will go dad...as usual.....hahaha...well.....see you all later...cause...tomorrow exam...and wish you all luck!!!And try the best you all can!!!!!!!And Sumi...thank you...for everything...you help me that I help you...thank you...and I hope...you'll be happy as always...even without family...like me...just a small matter...and a lost brother....thank you...very much..
To Be Continued................................................
Benny Liew.....................(Missing you doesn't mean I can't see you...and I will see you all soon...and I will...see you...").........................................................
P.S..(All the dialog translated from Mandarin...to English..cause all of them speak Mandarin and I had to translate it)..=='
Monday, May 24, 2010
Home for a week...
Time:05.50am
Date:24.May.2010
Location:Home(My real home)
About yesterday...I went home and hope myself to visit and stay with my family a week.But..I'll blog later..cause I must ready for school so...I blog tonight later...so,see ya later...
To Be Continued..........................................
Benny Liew.................(Home and relaxation....).............................
Date:24.May.2010
Location:Home(My real home)
About yesterday...I went home and hope myself to visit and stay with my family a week.But..I'll blog later..cause I must ready for school so...I blog tonight later...so,see ya later...
To Be Continued..........................................
Benny Liew.................(Home and relaxation....).............................
Friday, May 21, 2010
Fear of a word..
Fear me of a word,
List from hell that is no sorted dirt,
isn't it wonderful if there was a rainbow flew from a sky,
Where colors flew through my mind.
Wonder day in my mind,
Giving hope through everytime,
Damn peasant is not a time,
Darn hope die through like hymn.
See you all in another time...and this is just a joke...HAHAHA!!
List from hell that is no sorted dirt,
isn't it wonderful if there was a rainbow flew from a sky,
Where colors flew through my mind.
Wonder day in my mind,
Giving hope through everytime,
Damn peasant is not a time,
Darn hope die through like hymn.
See you all in another time...and this is just a joke...HAHAHA!!
Near than ever...
Time:10.05am
Date:21.May.2010
Location:Room 14...
I realize what I had done last few months and I the one who was wrong.It was my fault not everyone.I just had it.Thanks to them who help me everytime even I not need for help.
It was granted for a certain gifts and I also not sure..what has happen to me.I'm so sorry.
Well...about yesterday..it was one special day.....and one....touch moment...and.....
Time:05.30am
Date:20.May.2010
Location:Room 14...
I woke up..and I saw my cloth were iron by someone.I wonder who and I look outside that Wendyll is with Mui Mui and Miss.Landlady.
Then...I take my towel and when in to the bathroom to had shower.I look back at my hand...and my injuries were almost heal.
So...after finish bath..I went back to my room and change my school uniform.
Time:06.20am
Location:On the way...
Then...Mui Mui knock the door and ask me am I ready?..and she take me to Wendyll....and I look at her...with fill of guilt.
She held my arm and take me to the car.
Ka Zi start the car then....we're on the way.
Time:06.40am
Location:SMKTK
When Ka Zi reach at Secondary Chung Ching..I look at her and she said..."don't be sad..okay?"
I just nodded my head....and she went in.
Later..Ka Zi also ask me what happen last night......and I was shouted...hahaha...and I told her....nothing...just a dream..and she laughed at me.
Then...she put me in school..
Time:11.30am
Location:Classroom...3D
I was inside my classroom studying..and Sonisha came in...and she bring me treats...by the way....it's from someone special...a friend...a sister...it was from Riby...
I was surprise and keep it...so..I want to thank her before open.
Time:02.10pm
Location:On the way back...
I wait for Riby and she was not there...so..I just wait..and Ka Zi had arrived...so..I just enter the car..and leave it...maybe later I can thank her.
Then...Ka Zi go to Chung Ching...so..she ask me to find her inside the school..and I got nervous...
When I enter the school...everyone look at me..and....one of the girls smile at me so I smile at her back.
Then...I ask one of the boys where is Form 2 class...and he point up there...the fourth floor...WHAT!!!!???....Jeez....i had to climb up to find her...and finally...I found her...with her bag full of books...and I help her up.
Her friend were beside her and ask her..."Who is this..?"..and she said..."The person I care"...and she sneaky laugh and ask me.."Is this your....girl?"..and my face boiled...and said...."Yes.."..and she said.."Oho!!!"...and she tell me luck of all and I thank her..and everyone see me....while we walking..I mean...us.
Everyone start to talking each other and I can hear sound..they keep on said.."Who is this?""Where does he come from?"
Who cares anyway..I open the door for her and she went in..and I put her bag in...so...I help her..and we both went home.
Time:04.10pm
Location:Home....
Finally...I had my bike.....and my dad send it here...so..I can enjoy cycle one whole place here..and she said..."How to ride?"...and I look at her...and try to teach her and she said she don't want.
so..I TAKE THE BIKE AND RIDE AND FELL...cause...I also not sure how to ride it.
Time:05.00pm
Location:Room 14....
I went home..and damn it..feel so disappointed cause...I almost forget all my bike style...
So..I went home..and bath..and look at Wendy room..suddenly saw Sumi humming a song that makes me familiar..and the song she hum was......."Anata Ga Ita Mori"...and that song..I let her hear before once....
So...I ask Sumi what happen and she laugh at me...cause....she said..."why are you dress like bath??"
"I WAS SWEATING LA!!!"
Then..she went in her room...and just smile...and I glad that Sumi can happy and smile once again.
Then...I had a good bath..and went back to my room...
Time:08.30pm
Location:Room 14...
I train my guitar and keyboard...and I was finish...so..I look at her room...and it was rain that time...and she knock my door and ask me to eat dinner and I said later...and I hear a silent voice...
She was sobbing her tears...
I heard bang doors...and i went back to her room...and quickly ask her what happen?She open the door...and I went in..and her tears drip..and she said..."Why are you so busy although until you don't want to eat?"
I just keep silent...and explain....but hard.
She just call me come closer...and I seat next her on her bed.
She hug me...and I held her...and it was cold....and she said.."Don't make me worry"
I swap her head....and she said she want went to bed..and....she was sleep...and my hand stuck with hers.
So....this is getting me more nervous and I had to sleep with her....just next her..and my eyes shut..and I feel...stupid.....
I was try to release myself that time...and i was sleeping...with her..tightly warm....
Until....tomorrow morning...now.....
Time:09.00am
Location:Room 15...
I woke up and saw she was next me..and i woke up quickly and drop on the floor..and she said..."Are you okay?"..and i said I'm fine and when she smiled at me...I remember...it was a memories that straightly reminds me!!!It was a break nightmare..i broke one nightmare...cause..when I sleep with her...my nightmare did not appear....
I kiss her head and thanked her....and I went outside to my room...
Time:Now....
Location:Room 14...
Now...I blogging and finish blog and later...I want to go out...and hopeful that...my dreams...will soon gone....
And one more thing about yesterday....the message that my foster sister gave me.....
"Gud luck in ur study n PMR.Dun b sad.B grateful wit wat do u hav nw.Ma n kai kow will always suppot u..luv u!!"
I understand that now......thanks both of you...I wish you all luck too..and love you all...and now..I just open the sweet...and eat the lollipop inside...hahahaha......
Well...I got to go now...and hopeful...my life.......
To Be Continued......................................................
Benny Liew.............(Thanks to you...and maybe this isn't enough....and I hope...I can thank you more than I do..my friends....)........................................
Date:21.May.2010
Location:Room 14...
I realize what I had done last few months and I the one who was wrong.It was my fault not everyone.I just had it.Thanks to them who help me everytime even I not need for help.
It was granted for a certain gifts and I also not sure..what has happen to me.I'm so sorry.
Well...about yesterday..it was one special day.....and one....touch moment...and.....
Time:05.30am
Date:20.May.2010
Location:Room 14...
I woke up..and I saw my cloth were iron by someone.I wonder who and I look outside that Wendyll is with Mui Mui and Miss.Landlady.
Then...I take my towel and when in to the bathroom to had shower.I look back at my hand...and my injuries were almost heal.
So...after finish bath..I went back to my room and change my school uniform.
Time:06.20am
Location:On the way...
Then...Mui Mui knock the door and ask me am I ready?..and she take me to Wendyll....and I look at her...with fill of guilt.
She held my arm and take me to the car.
Ka Zi start the car then....we're on the way.
Time:06.40am
Location:SMKTK
When Ka Zi reach at Secondary Chung Ching..I look at her and she said..."don't be sad..okay?"
I just nodded my head....and she went in.
Later..Ka Zi also ask me what happen last night......and I was shouted...hahaha...and I told her....nothing...just a dream..and she laughed at me.
Then...she put me in school..
Time:11.30am
Location:Classroom...3D
I was inside my classroom studying..and Sonisha came in...and she bring me treats...by the way....it's from someone special...a friend...a sister...it was from Riby...
I was surprise and keep it...so..I want to thank her before open.
Time:02.10pm
Location:On the way back...
I wait for Riby and she was not there...so..I just wait..and Ka Zi had arrived...so..I just enter the car..and leave it...maybe later I can thank her.
Then...Ka Zi go to Chung Ching...so..she ask me to find her inside the school..and I got nervous...
When I enter the school...everyone look at me..and....one of the girls smile at me so I smile at her back.
Then...I ask one of the boys where is Form 2 class...and he point up there...the fourth floor...WHAT!!!!???....Jeez....i had to climb up to find her...and finally...I found her...with her bag full of books...and I help her up.
Her friend were beside her and ask her..."Who is this..?"..and she said..."The person I care"...and she sneaky laugh and ask me.."Is this your....girl?"..and my face boiled...and said...."Yes.."..and she said.."Oho!!!"...and she tell me luck of all and I thank her..and everyone see me....while we walking..I mean...us.
Everyone start to talking each other and I can hear sound..they keep on said.."Who is this?""Where does he come from?"
Who cares anyway..I open the door for her and she went in..and I put her bag in...so...I help her..and we both went home.
Time:04.10pm
Location:Home....
Finally...I had my bike.....and my dad send it here...so..I can enjoy cycle one whole place here..and she said..."How to ride?"...and I look at her...and try to teach her and she said she don't want.
so..I TAKE THE BIKE AND RIDE AND FELL...cause...I also not sure how to ride it.
Time:05.00pm
Location:Room 14....
I went home..and damn it..feel so disappointed cause...I almost forget all my bike style...
So..I went home..and bath..and look at Wendy room..suddenly saw Sumi humming a song that makes me familiar..and the song she hum was......."Anata Ga Ita Mori"...and that song..I let her hear before once....
So...I ask Sumi what happen and she laugh at me...cause....she said..."why are you dress like bath??"
"I WAS SWEATING LA!!!"
Then..she went in her room...and just smile...and I glad that Sumi can happy and smile once again.
Then...I had a good bath..and went back to my room...
Time:08.30pm
Location:Room 14...
I train my guitar and keyboard...and I was finish...so..I look at her room...and it was rain that time...and she knock my door and ask me to eat dinner and I said later...and I hear a silent voice...
She was sobbing her tears...
I heard bang doors...and i went back to her room...and quickly ask her what happen?She open the door...and I went in..and her tears drip..and she said..."Why are you so busy although until you don't want to eat?"
I just keep silent...and explain....but hard.
She just call me come closer...and I seat next her on her bed.
She hug me...and I held her...and it was cold....and she said.."Don't make me worry"
I swap her head....and she said she want went to bed..and....she was sleep...and my hand stuck with hers.
So....this is getting me more nervous and I had to sleep with her....just next her..and my eyes shut..and I feel...stupid.....
I was try to release myself that time...and i was sleeping...with her..tightly warm....
Until....tomorrow morning...now.....
Time:09.00am
Location:Room 15...
I woke up and saw she was next me..and i woke up quickly and drop on the floor..and she said..."Are you okay?"..and i said I'm fine and when she smiled at me...I remember...it was a memories that straightly reminds me!!!It was a break nightmare..i broke one nightmare...cause..when I sleep with her...my nightmare did not appear....
I kiss her head and thanked her....and I went outside to my room...
Time:Now....
Location:Room 14...
Now...I blogging and finish blog and later...I want to go out...and hopeful that...my dreams...will soon gone....
And one more thing about yesterday....the message that my foster sister gave me.....
"Gud luck in ur study n PMR.Dun b sad.B grateful wit wat do u hav nw.Ma n kai kow will always suppot u..luv u!!"
I understand that now......thanks both of you...I wish you all luck too..and love you all...and now..I just open the sweet...and eat the lollipop inside...hahahaha......
Well...I got to go now...and hopeful...my life.......
To Be Continued......................................................
Benny Liew.............(Thanks to you...and maybe this isn't enough....and I hope...I can thank you more than I do..my friends....)........................................
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
Guilt....
Time:05.59pm
Date:18.May.2010
Location:Room 14....
This time I wasn't sure what am I doing but....yesterday night...I mean...that night...was feeling guilt to know but now...I'm feeling bad...and worse...nevertheless....I hope she'll understand.
Now...
I had nothing to said...well...maybe later...see ya....==''..by the way...now I had to play with Law and Wendy.....outside area....
To Be Continued...........................................
Benny Liew.....(Huh??......).................................
Date:18.May.2010
Location:Room 14....
This time I wasn't sure what am I doing but....yesterday night...I mean...that night...was feeling guilt to know but now...I'm feeling bad...and worse...nevertheless....I hope she'll understand.
Now...
I had nothing to said...well...maybe later...see ya....==''..by the way...now I had to play with Law and Wendy.....outside area....
To Be Continued...........................................
Benny Liew.....(Huh??......).................................
Monday, May 17, 2010
Rain has tears...
Time:06.39pm
Date:17.May.2010
Location:Room 14...
I was busy last night so I had no time to blog but it was so hard rain so I had to see her for a moment.Well...about last night....
Time:09.50pm
Date:16.May.2010
Location:Room 15...
I went in her room and see what happen cause it was rain and I heard sneezed sound inside her room.So...I went in and saw she was looking at her laptop and I hold her shoulder behind.
Later...I had to massage her at the end...and she said.."Your hand were soft rather than rough from others"..and I tell...her...."Sorry about last three days ago that I went out"..and then...she turn and ask me.."Why are you scared?"..and she hold my face with her smooth palm and I can't answer anything.
She sigh for a moment and look at me...as I can't look at her and look outside the window...when the rain has cried hardly...and I hold her hand...and tell her...as honestly..."I will lose you all but in my heart..will not"..and she quickly swap me a hug and almost chocked me...but...I can feel she was....actually crying...and I hold her and can feel her heart was sad all because of me and I was feeling guilty of myself..
Later...she release me..and her tears were stop and her face were sticky...and I wipe it with tissue...and she said..she wanna rest cause...she was feeling sleepy that time and I help her shutdown her laptop...and I went to her bed and she lay down..and I told her...everything will be fine so...I hold her hand...and kiss her forehead...as she smile at me.
Then...I walk back...and see her face at the door..and close the door...and outside...it was raining and I look at the sky...and blew a sigh...so...I went back to my room...and rest too...
Time:11.00pm
Location:Room 14...
Then....I had asleep...as I remember..the nightmare..was...no more..???......Well...I hope so...
Today.....
Well.....useless day...teacher's day is not cool at all!!...Like shit...so...I better skip this!!!....Honestly...those teacher's there never ever know what is student feeling...and...argh....nevermind...
Now...
Time:06.53pm
Location:Garden side.....
Now.......I blogging and had a sad time for my dear..who was because of me...making her broke...but...I will...do what is best for her....
Well...I smells dinner...and got to go..well.....see you again...in another special day.....
To Be Continued........................................
Benny Liew...................................(Sigh...what had I done???)......................
Date:17.May.2010
Location:Room 14...
I was busy last night so I had no time to blog but it was so hard rain so I had to see her for a moment.Well...about last night....
Time:09.50pm
Date:16.May.2010
Location:Room 15...
I went in her room and see what happen cause it was rain and I heard sneezed sound inside her room.So...I went in and saw she was looking at her laptop and I hold her shoulder behind.
Later...I had to massage her at the end...and she said.."Your hand were soft rather than rough from others"..and I tell...her...."Sorry about last three days ago that I went out"..and then...she turn and ask me.."Why are you scared?"..and she hold my face with her smooth palm and I can't answer anything.
She sigh for a moment and look at me...as I can't look at her and look outside the window...when the rain has cried hardly...and I hold her hand...and tell her...as honestly..."I will lose you all but in my heart..will not"..and she quickly swap me a hug and almost chocked me...but...I can feel she was....actually crying...and I hold her and can feel her heart was sad all because of me and I was feeling guilty of myself..
Later...she release me..and her tears were stop and her face were sticky...and I wipe it with tissue...and she said..she wanna rest cause...she was feeling sleepy that time and I help her shutdown her laptop...and I went to her bed and she lay down..and I told her...everything will be fine so...I hold her hand...and kiss her forehead...as she smile at me.
Then...I walk back...and see her face at the door..and close the door...and outside...it was raining and I look at the sky...and blew a sigh...so...I went back to my room...and rest too...
Time:11.00pm
Location:Room 14...
Then....I had asleep...as I remember..the nightmare..was...no more..???......Well...I hope so...
Today.....
Well.....useless day...teacher's day is not cool at all!!...Like shit...so...I better skip this!!!....Honestly...those teacher's there never ever know what is student feeling...and...argh....nevermind...
Now...
Time:06.53pm
Location:Garden side.....
Now.......I blogging and had a sad time for my dear..who was because of me...making her broke...but...I will...do what is best for her....
Well...I smells dinner...and got to go..well.....see you again...in another special day.....
To Be Continued........................................
Benny Liew...................................(Sigh...what had I done???)......................
Say what!?Weapon and causes..
Like fool in here always doubt life as usual like moron who pass their life just for money. Example like one nation can be sell to almost one thousand trillion dollars(just in case if they had) to making more weapons and nuclear(if one)over one world.
Nation wide has selected that world domination can cause unfolded area and may cause losing human population too.
Nuclear populated to thousand or billion of atomic substance or reaction to mutation or toxic.
Example:
About EMP charge power,Laser power and Plasma power
EMP
EMP or Electromagnetic pulse,charge can cause all system to shutdown like a shockwave instead than over 50% nuclear radiotion form.
There are many type of EMP but the most famous EMP charge is EMP blast and EMP shockwave.
For this two EMP's,they are the most dreadful and enough to shut a city down and cause over thousands of megawatt of electricity current.
Example:
1.For EMP shockwave:
Detail:
1.Charge over defence:80,000 to 100,000 watts(Whz) per minutes charge
2.Overload charge:Massive damage over one city and cause nuclear radiation
2.For EMP blast:
Detail:
1.Will cause blast like massive mines or EMP blast charge defence will charge 30% nuclear atoms.Can cause one place radiated and exposed to sun power.
2.Sun power radiation can cause 70% of heat and 30% of shutting down all one city about 700 per square meter.
LASER
Laser defence charge beam or atom heat can be expose about 3000 degree celcius and maximum can be heated to a beam of light.
Inside a laser had billions millions of atom that causes high radiation burning sight.It can cause high effect on human neither dows solid armor.
Laser has a compabillity to become a weapon in the future.
Like a laser gun,it can be charge and no need waste of time to refuel your bullet.
2.Laser also can be use for many things and weapons like in Star Wars movie,the Light Saber.
Info: 1.Laser can be extreme powerful that can burn even organic tissue cells and effects on radiation overheat if on too long.
2.Laser can be reach up to 10,000 celcius and enough to slice a building in one chop.
PLASMA
Plasma or a ray(hi-heated atomic radiation) can be a deadly weapon.It contains a small doze of nuclear reaction and it almost like a particle beam to blow a charge.It has 60% of magnectic fields and 20% of electric charge plus 20% of nuclear conductor that enough to kill three person with one shot.
Detail:
1.Highly contains atomic fusion cause heat or overheat that enough to melt or burn one aluminium down.
Example of density:
Heat: Reach up tp 100,000 celcius
Radiation:Melting substance to liquid.
Neither that,plasma can be use in daily life for everyone and can be generate to electric and waste-usable substance.
Example can use about 70% power for three machines instead using turbine.
Another 30% can be use for recycle things like plastic and burnable usage.
For it,this three weapon can cause very harmful and even nuclear radiation can destroy one whole city almost 1000 square per feet or miles.
As usual,weapon in the next future generation will be very harmful neither it can cost life in Earth.
Benny Liew......(15)
Nation wide has selected that world domination can cause unfolded area and may cause losing human population too.
Nuclear populated to thousand or billion of atomic substance or reaction to mutation or toxic.
Example:
About EMP charge power,Laser power and Plasma power
EMP
EMP or Electromagnetic pulse,charge can cause all system to shutdown like a shockwave instead than over 50% nuclear radiotion form.
There are many type of EMP but the most famous EMP charge is EMP blast and EMP shockwave.
For this two EMP's,they are the most dreadful and enough to shut a city down and cause over thousands of megawatt of electricity current.
Example:
1.For EMP shockwave:
Detail:
1.Charge over defence:80,000 to 100,000 watts(Whz) per minutes charge
2.Overload charge:Massive damage over one city and cause nuclear radiation
2.For EMP blast:
Detail:
1.Will cause blast like massive mines or EMP blast charge defence will charge 30% nuclear atoms.Can cause one place radiated and exposed to sun power.
2.Sun power radiation can cause 70% of heat and 30% of shutting down all one city about 700 per square meter.
LASER
Laser defence charge beam or atom heat can be expose about 3000 degree celcius and maximum can be heated to a beam of light.
Inside a laser had billions millions of atom that causes high radiation burning sight.It can cause high effect on human neither dows solid armor.
Laser has a compabillity to become a weapon in the future.
Like a laser gun,it can be charge and no need waste of time to refuel your bullet.
2.Laser also can be use for many things and weapons like in Star Wars movie,the Light Saber.
Info: 1.Laser can be extreme powerful that can burn even organic tissue cells and effects on radiation overheat if on too long.
2.Laser can be reach up to 10,000 celcius and enough to slice a building in one chop.
PLASMA
Plasma or a ray(hi-heated atomic radiation) can be a deadly weapon.It contains a small doze of nuclear reaction and it almost like a particle beam to blow a charge.It has 60% of magnectic fields and 20% of electric charge plus 20% of nuclear conductor that enough to kill three person with one shot.
Detail:
1.Highly contains atomic fusion cause heat or overheat that enough to melt or burn one aluminium down.
Example of density:
Heat: Reach up tp 100,000 celcius
Radiation:Melting substance to liquid.
Neither that,plasma can be use in daily life for everyone and can be generate to electric and waste-usable substance.
Example can use about 70% power for three machines instead using turbine.
Another 30% can be use for recycle things like plastic and burnable usage.
For it,this three weapon can cause very harmful and even nuclear radiation can destroy one whole city almost 1000 square per feet or miles.
As usual,weapon in the next future generation will be very harmful neither it can cost life in Earth.
Benny Liew......(15)
Sunday, May 16, 2010
From now on...
Time:09.12pm
Date:16.May.2010
Location:Room 14...
From now on...I will blog what is special day for me and thanks to Fong..who teach me this kind.
By the way...now I'm busy cause...I got to go see her...in her room..while rain tears flow...well...see ya later...
To BE Continued........................
Benny Liew................(Wait...and thanks........)...........................
Date:16.May.2010
Location:Room 14...
From now on...I will blog what is special day for me and thanks to Fong..who teach me this kind.
By the way...now I'm busy cause...I got to go see her...in her room..while rain tears flow...well...see ya later...
To BE Continued........................
Benny Liew................(Wait...and thanks........)...........................
Saturday, May 15, 2010
Deep Light In My Night...
I saw a day who coming through,
She post me a letter and said "How are you?",
But if I ever do to you sending on my two,
Two days one nights will ever do...
Said a breath I ever faint,
It's like fire burns it up,
And got a shout it pop!!,
You won't want to see a slot..
Silence in decade,
Never ever said,
Like a light in pale,
Deep light in my night.....
Benny Liew.........
She post me a letter and said "How are you?",
But if I ever do to you sending on my two,
Two days one nights will ever do...
Said a breath I ever faint,
It's like fire burns it up,
And got a shout it pop!!,
You won't want to see a slot..
Silence in decade,
Never ever said,
Like a light in pale,
Deep light in my night.....
Benny Liew.........
Friday, May 14, 2010
Last Night On Earth....
I text a postcard, sent to you
Did it go through?
Sending all my love to you.
You are the moonlight of my life every night
Giving all my love to you
My beating heart belongs to you
I walked for miles 'til I found you
I'm here to honor you
If I lose everything in the fire
I'm sending all my love to you.
With every breath that I am worth
Here on Earth
I'm sending all my love to you.
So if you dare to second guess
You can rest assured
That all my love's for you
My beating heart belongs to you
I walked for miles 'til I found you
I'm here to honor you
If I lose everything in the fire
I'm sending all my love to you.
My beating heart belongs to you
I walked for miles 'til I found you
I'm here to honor you
If I lose everything in the fire
Did I ever make it through?
Did it go through?
Sending all my love to you.
You are the moonlight of my life every night
Giving all my love to you
My beating heart belongs to you
I walked for miles 'til I found you
I'm here to honor you
If I lose everything in the fire
I'm sending all my love to you.
With every breath that I am worth
Here on Earth
I'm sending all my love to you.
So if you dare to second guess
You can rest assured
That all my love's for you
My beating heart belongs to you
I walked for miles 'til I found you
I'm here to honor you
If I lose everything in the fire
I'm sending all my love to you.
My beating heart belongs to you
I walked for miles 'til I found you
I'm here to honor you
If I lose everything in the fire
Did I ever make it through?
Urge that guilt....
Time:09.24pm
Date:14.May.2010
Location:Room 14...
Like a day...always same..but..all never same..still..it's foolish...sigh...what am I talking about?..Like thinking fire drags as hell...sigh...wish I was not do anything...
Time:04.30am
Location:Room 14...
I did not sleep at all...just only an hour...but...my eyes were pale against my nightmares...I can't stand it anymore...
If he gone...was he really want me so bad????
Man in the cloak...tell me...why...are you doing this??...and there is no answer at all...
Date:11.May.2010
Location:Psychiatry Hospital...
I went there...and threat myself there...I left Wendy home...and left two days...alone...
Time:09.00am
Location:On the way...
I was walking at the streets and went to the private hospital and get threat.The doctor tells me that...I always get intense and always impatient as I told him what happen to me...and he said.."Rest only...don't think much.." and gave me a small bottle of pills and a small doze of inject...everything cost me RM120.00...
Then...
I return home...and saw Wendy alone home with everyone and she was worry about me..and I know...I will do what is best for you...
Today....
Time:05.00pm
Location:Hall...
All useless mites!!...I hate when...nevermind...I don't care after all...not Bella's fault nor everyone...it's my fault...geez....what have I done now?..Who cares??All be OKAY!!....kinda.....maybe..it's fate...not fate...just...mistake...kinda....
And also..I quit for the singing in teacher's day...I don't want to know it anymore....I just quit...quit only...quit to free.......
Time:06.00pm
Location:School...still...
I still waiting for someone send me..but he and she did not came yet....and I keep on wait.....
Time:06.50pm
Location:Still in canteen....
I HAD ENOUGH OF THIS!!..and I didn't care what am I doing and walk home...back to the villa by myself....
I walk till the hospital...and Ka Zi just call me and ask me where am I??...I told with my soft tone..and tell her I was at hospital side....so..I wait for her at the playground....
Time:07.50pm
Location:Home...room 14...
Finally....home...and had a good hot soak in hot water....what a fresh....and went back to my room and change...and look at my laptop...that my files was finish download....
Then...I look at Wendy room...and saw her....she was alone...I went to her room..and ask her if anything...happens.
She came near me..and ask me...what happen to me..and I hold her shoulder it was nothing...and she put her palm on my face and said..."Don't make me worry..okay?"
I just look down...and I had nothing to answer just to keep my answer in my head...just in case....not to make her worse...sigh...
Time:09.00pm
Location:Room 14...
I went back to my room and look at my books...and I threw it one side...so I can make my anger feel better that away before.
I just flow my tears because of everything I did last time....Lawrence...Wendyll...me...and time...pass.....tik tok tik tok....and it won't stop...
I wish my twins was here...making us easier...sigh....
I was very disappointed...a little not much...but..I look at her....make me warm and fuzzy..but we both..only a year...like fate...and lost...what have I done?
Well...
Time:NOW...
Location:Room 14...
Maybe Wendy went to bed already...and I...now hearing rock Green Day songs so I can make my mind a little better...not to much of sad song...
A little waste but still...I don't care....I just care my future...the world...the generation life and so on....hopefully...everyone will do understand...
Now...........I seating here...blogging...and feeling my guilt...for myself...sigh...maybe....time just tick...and time...is short by the way......
To Be Continued.....................................
Benny Liew........(Guilty is not a duty...just who we are....)...........................
Date:14.May.2010
Location:Room 14...
Like a day...always same..but..all never same..still..it's foolish...sigh...what am I talking about?..Like thinking fire drags as hell...sigh...wish I was not do anything...
Time:04.30am
Location:Room 14...
I did not sleep at all...just only an hour...but...my eyes were pale against my nightmares...I can't stand it anymore...
If he gone...was he really want me so bad????
Man in the cloak...tell me...why...are you doing this??...and there is no answer at all...
Date:11.May.2010
Location:Psychiatry Hospital...
I went there...and threat myself there...I left Wendy home...and left two days...alone...
Time:09.00am
Location:On the way...
I was walking at the streets and went to the private hospital and get threat.The doctor tells me that...I always get intense and always impatient as I told him what happen to me...and he said.."Rest only...don't think much.." and gave me a small bottle of pills and a small doze of inject...everything cost me RM120.00...
Then...
I return home...and saw Wendy alone home with everyone and she was worry about me..and I know...I will do what is best for you...
Today....
Time:05.00pm
Location:Hall...
All useless mites!!...I hate when...nevermind...I don't care after all...not Bella's fault nor everyone...it's my fault...geez....what have I done now?..Who cares??All be OKAY!!....kinda.....maybe..it's fate...not fate...just...mistake...kinda....
And also..I quit for the singing in teacher's day...I don't want to know it anymore....I just quit...quit only...quit to free.......
Time:06.00pm
Location:School...still...
I still waiting for someone send me..but he and she did not came yet....and I keep on wait.....
Time:06.50pm
Location:Still in canteen....
I HAD ENOUGH OF THIS!!..and I didn't care what am I doing and walk home...back to the villa by myself....
I walk till the hospital...and Ka Zi just call me and ask me where am I??...I told with my soft tone..and tell her I was at hospital side....so..I wait for her at the playground....
Time:07.50pm
Location:Home...room 14...
Finally....home...and had a good hot soak in hot water....what a fresh....and went back to my room and change...and look at my laptop...that my files was finish download....
Then...I look at Wendy room...and saw her....she was alone...I went to her room..and ask her if anything...happens.
She came near me..and ask me...what happen to me..and I hold her shoulder it was nothing...and she put her palm on my face and said..."Don't make me worry..okay?"
I just look down...and I had nothing to answer just to keep my answer in my head...just in case....not to make her worse...sigh...
Time:09.00pm
Location:Room 14...
I went back to my room and look at my books...and I threw it one side...so I can make my anger feel better that away before.
I just flow my tears because of everything I did last time....Lawrence...Wendyll...me...and time...pass.....tik tok tik tok....and it won't stop...
I wish my twins was here...making us easier...sigh....
I was very disappointed...a little not much...but..I look at her....make me warm and fuzzy..but we both..only a year...like fate...and lost...what have I done?
Well...
Time:NOW...
Location:Room 14...
Maybe Wendy went to bed already...and I...now hearing rock Green Day songs so I can make my mind a little better...not to much of sad song...
A little waste but still...I don't care....I just care my future...the world...the generation life and so on....hopefully...everyone will do understand...
Now...........I seating here...blogging...and feeling my guilt...for myself...sigh...maybe....time just tick...and time...is short by the way......
To Be Continued.....................................
Benny Liew........(Guilty is not a duty...just who we are....)...........................
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
Remember what we are..
Time:11.40pm
Date:12.May.2010
Location:Room 14...
I just realized...that...I was not remember much about it from today...well...after all..it was 5 years...I can't do what it takes.It like being ascend from hell...and save from heaven.
I look at left and right...is my shoulder clean??Or it is dirty??..Maybe the both are.
I read my book...and look at my novels...are those my future??Maybe not be sure yet but nevertheless...I will hope on it.
I look at the portrait photo...is she mine??Maybe not...because...we won't know what happen...and I remember Fong and Riby and friends..family...will they be gone infront me??...I also don't know...what is WRONG with me!??
I can't remember yet...all I do is Lawrence...and the dreams the heresy me from NOW!!
Damn it all of'em!!!
I cried...and cried..and stand...and stand...and look at my hands...it was useless....
What am I talking???I suppose to go on not turn back...maybe...our relationship is lost..maybe what did the man in my nightmare was true...and I look at you all...it was useless hope...maybe...I was wrong...maybe..you all are my hope but will it be.....gone???
I don't know..what happen but...if my hope lies where my destiny has go on...is my life...useless???
But no matter what....Wendy..you..and my family....I know.....what is hope and destiny...and now...I will ascend from here...and wait...for the day of myself in a place I call.............HOME....
To Be Continued.....................................
Benny Liew.....................................(Never...and ever...seems to be one day....).................
Date:12.May.2010
Location:Room 14...
I just realized...that...I was not remember much about it from today...well...after all..it was 5 years...I can't do what it takes.It like being ascend from hell...and save from heaven.
I look at left and right...is my shoulder clean??Or it is dirty??..Maybe the both are.
I read my book...and look at my novels...are those my future??Maybe not be sure yet but nevertheless...I will hope on it.
I look at the portrait photo...is she mine??Maybe not...because...we won't know what happen...and I remember Fong and Riby and friends..family...will they be gone infront me??...I also don't know...what is WRONG with me!??
I can't remember yet...all I do is Lawrence...and the dreams the heresy me from NOW!!
Damn it all of'em!!!
I cried...and cried..and stand...and stand...and look at my hands...it was useless....
What am I talking???I suppose to go on not turn back...maybe...our relationship is lost..maybe what did the man in my nightmare was true...and I look at you all...it was useless hope...maybe...I was wrong...maybe..you all are my hope but will it be.....gone???
I don't know..what happen but...if my hope lies where my destiny has go on...is my life...useless???
But no matter what....Wendy..you..and my family....I know.....what is hope and destiny...and now...I will ascend from here...and wait...for the day of myself in a place I call.............HOME....
To Be Continued.....................................
Benny Liew.....................................(Never...and ever...seems to be one day....).................
In a mood of return....(Trip I had on now..)...
Time:09.08pm
Date:12.May.2010
Location:Room 14.....
In many signs today...I had return for my blog about my life...for the last time..I thought...I won't blog anymore but now???...Huh!!...What a day...and today...very special day to me and myself indeed....and she...smile at me like I do as the sky making us brighter..
Today...is a better way...and a good day...
Time:02.30pm
Location:Front door...
I was waiting for Wendy....and she arrived....looking at her is one precious thing...but...a year is not one special way...who cares..as my heart is go on..and so it will.
I help her take her bag up...and she ask me why am I not going to school and I told her....errr......ooops...busted!!!...
I just tell her I was tired and it was the most silly answer I had.She just smiled at me and laugh a while...and I went to her room..put her bag down and walk with her for a moment.I saw Miss.Landlady mopping the floor.
I ask her if she need any help and she said she just call me to carry the pails at the corner...and I did it..with a simple job.She thanked me and I told her if need anymore help just call me.
Wendy told me she had to bath and she ask me later want go out to town..and I accept...as she wanted to.
Time:04.50pm
Location:Room 14.....
I was changing my cloth...and look at the mirror with my cool looking hair...and I look myself...with my new suite tie...and suddenly...I heard a knock on the door...it was her and Ka Zi.
She looks gorgeous in that sort jeans and long boots..with her cute Japanese looking cloth.She ask me if I'm ready and I said almost...and she said she'll be waiting outside for a while.I told her only one minute...cause I wanna download all the Green Day's album...from 39/Smooth to 21st Century Breakdown...hehe...
Later...I leave my laptop on and went outside and change my shoes.....my favorite shoes...
Time:05.20pm
Location:Town.....
Ka Zi leave us at the post office and we wave her goodbye..and I ask her why are we here?She held my hand and take me to a place..where couple always come here and eat...and she bring friends too....waiting her at Ah Tok restaurant....she bring 2 girls and 1 boy..that I don't know them....and everyone introduce each other...and shake hands...and the boy seems looks like kind but he was wearing earing and bandanna on his head....
Later...we order food and I ordered fish and chip..and she ordered chicken chop..and honestly...I don't like chicken chop.
The two girls were order lamb chop and the boy ordered steak that smells so juicy and thick.
We all were talking each other and talking about life in school...how I meet her and my memories not so clear now...it seems I almost forget what happen...
Then...we all had refreshment of cool drinks and I ask the boy..who is her girlfriend..and he hold the next girl with glasses hand..and said she was...and I was surprise how honest he was.
Later...one of the girls told me that after this will be a great night to watch basketball match and I told her we will not going cause...we all had to sleep early...and we all got to go.
Then...I ask the shopkeeper to give the bill...and everyone want to pay...and I told them...I pay it all..cause...my mood has up!!
Wendy hold my hand and told me that you're too kind but don't be too kind!!!I shake hand with the boy and the two girls and tell them see ya!!They both seems went to watching people battle basketball.
Time:08.00pm
Location:Home.............
I walk with her at the field....and she was turning around look at her...was her childhood side...hmm...maybe...she was not belong to me yet...but...I not so sure...yet!!
Then...Ka Zi send me a message that she'll coming soon at the field..so..I held her hand...and walk with her outside....and kiss her cheek only..and Ka Zi arrived..take us...home...
Time:Now....
Location:Home...room 14...
Now...we arrived at home...and Wendy thanked me and hug me...tight and my face were red...and she release me and I told her goodnight..and kiss her...lips..and maybe...this is the fate I got...sigh..........I went to my room..and she look happy and ran to her room and bath...
Then...I went to bath...change and look at my laptop...all my downloads has finish..and I was happy..
I look left..and her room..and I know she was sleeping...and I wanna told her...honest about myself...but I can't tell her.Maybe...I tell her at the end...and the end...I hope she won't cry...
Well...looks like I got to go now...cause...now I am tired...drunk love and a lot of things want to do.....well...see you all...on later...off later....see ya!!
To Be Continued..............................
Benny Liew.......................(On a road I heed...is the way I going in deep...)..........
Date:12.May.2010
Location:Room 14.....
In many signs today...I had return for my blog about my life...for the last time..I thought...I won't blog anymore but now???...Huh!!...What a day...and today...very special day to me and myself indeed....and she...smile at me like I do as the sky making us brighter..
Today...is a better way...and a good day...
Time:02.30pm
Location:Front door...
I was waiting for Wendy....and she arrived....looking at her is one precious thing...but...a year is not one special way...who cares..as my heart is go on..and so it will.
I help her take her bag up...and she ask me why am I not going to school and I told her....errr......ooops...busted!!!...
I just tell her I was tired and it was the most silly answer I had.She just smiled at me and laugh a while...and I went to her room..put her bag down and walk with her for a moment.I saw Miss.Landlady mopping the floor.
I ask her if she need any help and she said she just call me to carry the pails at the corner...and I did it..with a simple job.She thanked me and I told her if need anymore help just call me.
Wendy told me she had to bath and she ask me later want go out to town..and I accept...as she wanted to.
Time:04.50pm
Location:Room 14.....
I was changing my cloth...and look at the mirror with my cool looking hair...and I look myself...with my new suite tie...and suddenly...I heard a knock on the door...it was her and Ka Zi.
She looks gorgeous in that sort jeans and long boots..with her cute Japanese looking cloth.She ask me if I'm ready and I said almost...and she said she'll be waiting outside for a while.I told her only one minute...cause I wanna download all the Green Day's album...from 39/Smooth to 21st Century Breakdown...hehe...
Later...I leave my laptop on and went outside and change my shoes.....my favorite shoes...
Time:05.20pm
Location:Town.....
Ka Zi leave us at the post office and we wave her goodbye..and I ask her why are we here?She held my hand and take me to a place..where couple always come here and eat...and she bring friends too....waiting her at Ah Tok restaurant....she bring 2 girls and 1 boy..that I don't know them....and everyone introduce each other...and shake hands...and the boy seems looks like kind but he was wearing earing and bandanna on his head....
Later...we order food and I ordered fish and chip..and she ordered chicken chop..and honestly...I don't like chicken chop.
The two girls were order lamb chop and the boy ordered steak that smells so juicy and thick.
We all were talking each other and talking about life in school...how I meet her and my memories not so clear now...it seems I almost forget what happen...
Then...we all had refreshment of cool drinks and I ask the boy..who is her girlfriend..and he hold the next girl with glasses hand..and said she was...and I was surprise how honest he was.
Later...one of the girls told me that after this will be a great night to watch basketball match and I told her we will not going cause...we all had to sleep early...and we all got to go.
Then...I ask the shopkeeper to give the bill...and everyone want to pay...and I told them...I pay it all..cause...my mood has up!!
Wendy hold my hand and told me that you're too kind but don't be too kind!!!I shake hand with the boy and the two girls and tell them see ya!!They both seems went to watching people battle basketball.
Time:08.00pm
Location:Home.............
I walk with her at the field....and she was turning around look at her...was her childhood side...hmm...maybe...she was not belong to me yet...but...I not so sure...yet!!
Then...Ka Zi send me a message that she'll coming soon at the field..so..I held her hand...and walk with her outside....and kiss her cheek only..and Ka Zi arrived..take us...home...
Time:Now....
Location:Home...room 14...
Now...we arrived at home...and Wendy thanked me and hug me...tight and my face were red...and she release me and I told her goodnight..and kiss her...lips..and maybe...this is the fate I got...sigh..........I went to my room..and she look happy and ran to her room and bath...
Then...I went to bath...change and look at my laptop...all my downloads has finish..and I was happy..
I look left..and her room..and I know she was sleeping...and I wanna told her...honest about myself...but I can't tell her.Maybe...I tell her at the end...and the end...I hope she won't cry...
Well...looks like I got to go now...cause...now I am tired...drunk love and a lot of things want to do.....well...see you all...on later...off later....see ya!!
To Be Continued..............................
Benny Liew.......................(On a road I heed...is the way I going in deep...)..........
In Dreams of Nightmares.....
In Dreams of Nightmares.....
Like the day of fill in darkness,
Blowing soul come in one forest,
I never rest to know more ever,
Like it's been forever trap in this fever....
Full of crap in my mind now,
Where it lies through the face of fire,
It burns as hell burns,
Approach like I will know more,
Crying to see isn't anymore,
Nut if I stay where I belong,
Maybe that is my destiny after all....................................
Benny Liew.........
Like the day of fill in darkness,
Blowing soul come in one forest,
I never rest to know more ever,
Like it's been forever trap in this fever....
Full of crap in my mind now,
Where it lies through the face of fire,
It burns as hell burns,
Approach like I will know more,
Crying to see isn't anymore,
Nut if I stay where I belong,
Maybe that is my destiny after all....................................
Benny Liew.........
Sigh......
Time:02.24pm
Date:12.May.2010
Location:Room 14.......
Wendy wake me up and I didn't wake up cause...I was a little lazy...and what a day....now I just wake up at 12.50pm..
Time:01.30pm
Location:Room 14........
I woke up..and saw Law was next me...he was panting and look at me.I wonder what he want to say???...He just come near and sniff at my hand...and I take my hand and put on his head...and stand up.
Then...I go to the garden for a walk and then...I saw Miss.Landlady planting some flowers and I walk back to my room.I go back to my room...bath...go back again...and on my laptop....hearing songs....and looking at Law.
Time:NOW.....
Now.....I had nothing to say...well....looks like there will be another two weeks will be holiday........and also...one more week exam...just wish luck to all my friends and her....see you all.....
To Be Continued................................................
Benny Liew...................................(Sigh....)............................
Date:12.May.2010
Location:Room 14.......
Wendy wake me up and I didn't wake up cause...I was a little lazy...and what a day....now I just wake up at 12.50pm..
Time:01.30pm
Location:Room 14........
I woke up..and saw Law was next me...he was panting and look at me.I wonder what he want to say???...He just come near and sniff at my hand...and I take my hand and put on his head...and stand up.
Then...I go to the garden for a walk and then...I saw Miss.Landlady planting some flowers and I walk back to my room.I go back to my room...bath...go back again...and on my laptop....hearing songs....and looking at Law.
Time:NOW.....
Now.....I had nothing to say...well....looks like there will be another two weeks will be holiday........and also...one more week exam...just wish luck to all my friends and her....see you all.....
To Be Continued................................................
Benny Liew...................................(Sigh....)............................
Monday, May 10, 2010
When You Say You Love Me...
"When You Say You Love Me"
Like the sound of silence calling,
I hear your voice and suddenly,
I'm falling, lost in a dream.
Like the echoes of our souls are meeting,
You say those words and my heart stops beating.
I wonder what it means.
What could it be that comes over me?
At times I can't move.
At times I can hardly breath.
When you say you love me,
The world goes still, so still inside and,
When you say you love me,
For a moment, there's no one else alive,
You're the one I've always thought of.
I don't know how, but I feel sheltered in your love.
You're where I belong.
And when you're with me if I close my eyes,
There are times I swear I feel like I can fly
For a moment in time.
Somewhere between the Heavens and Earth ,
And frozen in time, Oh when you say those words.
When you say you love me
The world goes still, so still inside and
When you say you love me
For a moment, there's no one else alive
And this journey that we're on.
How far we've come and I celebrate every moment.
And when you say you love me,
That's all you have to say.
I'll always feel this way.
When you say you love me
The world goes still, so still inside and
When you say you love me
In that moment,I know why I'm alive
When you say you love me.
When you say you love me.
Do you know how I love you?
Like the sound of silence calling,
I hear your voice and suddenly,
I'm falling, lost in a dream.
Like the echoes of our souls are meeting,
You say those words and my heart stops beating.
I wonder what it means.
What could it be that comes over me?
At times I can't move.
At times I can hardly breath.
When you say you love me,
The world goes still, so still inside and,
When you say you love me,
For a moment, there's no one else alive,
You're the one I've always thought of.
I don't know how, but I feel sheltered in your love.
You're where I belong.
And when you're with me if I close my eyes,
There are times I swear I feel like I can fly
For a moment in time.
Somewhere between the Heavens and Earth ,
And frozen in time, Oh when you say those words.
When you say you love me
The world goes still, so still inside and
When you say you love me
For a moment, there's no one else alive
And this journey that we're on.
How far we've come and I celebrate every moment.
And when you say you love me,
That's all you have to say.
I'll always feel this way.
When you say you love me
The world goes still, so still inside and
When you say you love me
In that moment,I know why I'm alive
When you say you love me.
When you say you love me.
Do you know how I love you?
There is nothing for us and maybe....
Time:10.25pm
Date:10.May.2010....
Location:Room 14...........
Today...I can't trust anyone anymore to anyone at all!!!....Damn them all...who just gave betrayal smile and side...maybe..I was right...
Today....I wanna tell you all that....my friends..you...are my hope...and my love once.I...can't know why...you can betray me....why???
Wendy...when you read this...I know...still got another 6 month you will leave here...and....we may never see again....I hope....you will understand how...I love you and how..you know me back again.
Well....from now on....I will not blog...but I will blog the most important and special day I had the most...or maybe...I should stop blog...what I had done...lost..in a dream memories of flesh and blood.
Since...now....I can't go on....my tears...was tears...rain...tears of rain...
After all....I was a fool to myself...leaving best hope....
You...whoever read this...might understand my feeling towards you all who am I now..
Likely the last poem.....it was like...
~A dream push me away,
Like making me fading in a stray,
It's wasn't any wonders,
Cause me may not meet in forever.....
Well...maybe...this is not my last blog...but...I will write what is special days to me...or maybe....I will make a new blog...like I do always.....
Wendy...Fong...Riby....all...my friends...family.....see you again...and I will not...saying goodbye....in another way.....
To Be Continued............(In another way special days)............
Benny Liew...........(Doesn't mean the end yet........and for me...I will repeat it..."I WILL RETURN"....)
Date:10.May.2010....
Location:Room 14...........
Today...I can't trust anyone anymore to anyone at all!!!....Damn them all...who just gave betrayal smile and side...maybe..I was right...
Today....I wanna tell you all that....my friends..you...are my hope...and my love once.I...can't know why...you can betray me....why???
Wendy...when you read this...I know...still got another 6 month you will leave here...and....we may never see again....I hope....you will understand how...I love you and how..you know me back again.
Well....from now on....I will not blog...but I will blog the most important and special day I had the most...or maybe...I should stop blog...what I had done...lost..in a dream memories of flesh and blood.
Since...now....I can't go on....my tears...was tears...rain...tears of rain...
After all....I was a fool to myself...leaving best hope....
You...whoever read this...might understand my feeling towards you all who am I now..
Likely the last poem.....it was like...
~A dream push me away,
Like making me fading in a stray,
It's wasn't any wonders,
Cause me may not meet in forever.....
Well...maybe...this is not my last blog...but...I will write what is special days to me...or maybe....I will make a new blog...like I do always.....
Wendy...Fong...Riby....all...my friends...family.....see you again...and I will not...saying goodbye....in another way.....
To Be Continued............(In another way special days)............
Benny Liew...........(Doesn't mean the end yet........and for me...I will repeat it..."I WILL RETURN"....)
Saturday, May 8, 2010
Last Night.......
Time:09.43am
Date:08.May.2010
Location:Room 14.....
Yesterday....our Youth went to Mentakab....and I can't blog what happen because...I will write in my diary book.Can't really tell you all first here...and I just bought a champagne for my dad and a recipe book for my mother...And now...about last night....
Time:10.00pm
Date:07.May.2010
Location:Room 14.......
I just return and online....then...I had bath...after bath...I change and went to my room.I look at her room door...and wanna tell her something but tied up...
Will I wanna know more...or keep on more....or...see on more?
Later...I online...my heart sad...and Mother's Day is coming...and the book I haven't gave her and Father's Day also coming so...I not sure when I will give them.
My heart try to break but I stand...stand and keep on trying...and I look at the photo...me with her...and I just look...can't do it and my tears flow slowly......
Time:12.50am
Location:Room 14..........
I just leave it.....and off my laptop...and when to sleep...and while I was asleep...I did not dream anything...just chill...and awake...in early morning...now...
Time:Now............
Location:Room 14..................
Today...I had go to see my camp site...and not going yet...just check and see first...for this June....and the bad thing is...all girl Youth join..and I'm the only boy was in....what the??!!!...All the boys Youth not sure yet....
Now......I gotta go at 12.00pm........and y wish upon here...is to see my day smile....and my life....was not in black and white....................just in colors...you and me...my friends and my family...and everyone I had..........
To Be Continued...................................
Benny Liew.............................(There is no black and white.....just colors..............)........................................
Date:08.May.2010
Location:Room 14.....
Yesterday....our Youth went to Mentakab....and I can't blog what happen because...I will write in my diary book.Can't really tell you all first here...and I just bought a champagne for my dad and a recipe book for my mother...And now...about last night....
Time:10.00pm
Date:07.May.2010
Location:Room 14.......
I just return and online....then...I had bath...after bath...I change and went to my room.I look at her room door...and wanna tell her something but tied up...
Will I wanna know more...or keep on more....or...see on more?
Later...I online...my heart sad...and Mother's Day is coming...and the book I haven't gave her and Father's Day also coming so...I not sure when I will give them.
My heart try to break but I stand...stand and keep on trying...and I look at the photo...me with her...and I just look...can't do it and my tears flow slowly......
Time:12.50am
Location:Room 14..........
I just leave it.....and off my laptop...and when to sleep...and while I was asleep...I did not dream anything...just chill...and awake...in early morning...now...
Time:Now............
Location:Room 14..................
Today...I had go to see my camp site...and not going yet...just check and see first...for this June....and the bad thing is...all girl Youth join..and I'm the only boy was in....what the??!!!...All the boys Youth not sure yet....
Now......I gotta go at 12.00pm........and y wish upon here...is to see my day smile....and my life....was not in black and white....................just in colors...you and me...my friends and my family...and everyone I had..........
To Be Continued...................................
Benny Liew.............................(There is no black and white.....just colors..............)........................................
Friday, May 7, 2010
She,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
She...
She screams in silence.....
A sullen riot penetrating through her mind........
Waiting for a sign......
To smash the silence with the brick of self-control........
Are you locked up in a world......
That's been planned out for you?.......
Are you feeling like a social tool without a use?.....
Scream at me until my ears bleed.......
I'm taking heed just for you.........
She...
She's figured out...........
All her doubts were someone else's point of view............
Waking up this time........
To smash the silence with the brick of self-control.....
EHHHHHH,AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
She screams in silence.....
A sullen riot penetrating through her mind........
Waiting for a sign......
To smash the silence with the brick of self-control........
Are you locked up in a world......
That's been planned out for you?.......
Are you feeling like a social tool without a use?.....
Scream at me until my ears bleed.......
I'm taking heed just for you.........
She...
She's figured out...........
All her doubts were someone else's point of view............
Waking up this time........
To smash the silence with the brick of self-control.....
EHHHHHH,AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
MIY and MYF Fellowship Day
Time:10.24pm
Date:07.May.2010
Location:Room 14...
Today can't blog but..I got to pack up..and tomorrow I had to go to a camp so..I will be busy now...well..at least enjoy see this picture...and guess...where or which is us....^^
Well...got to go now...see ya..and now...busy times...
To Be Continued......................
Benny Liew.....................(As for one and one for all...........)................
Date:07.May.2010
Location:Room 14...
Today can't blog but..I got to pack up..and tomorrow I had to go to a camp so..I will be busy now...well..at least enjoy see this picture...and guess...where or which is us....^^
Well...got to go now...see ya..and now...busy times...
To Be Continued......................
Benny Liew.....................(As for one and one for all...........)................
Thursday, May 6, 2010
Nothing special..but there is one!!!..(Riby's birthday..).....
Time:11.26pm
Date:06.May.2010
Location:Room 14........
Happy birthday sister....and sister...and err...sigh...what a day..nevermind..I explain here.....
Time:02.20pm
Location:School...on way home....
Today...ARGH!!!...Son of a crap all my classmates!!..Hate them!!..Make Sir Leaong sick of them already....I hate them!!...
Well...while go home...my brother came..(Terry)..ask me that dad is fetch us.Well...who cares...and I wish Riby happy birthday....and she thanked me and go home...and my dad also just arrive....doesn't matter at all...
Time:05.30pm
Location:Room 14...
I was tired rest...hoping myself someone help me...sigh...but...I was asleep...from 05.30pm till 08.00pm..and I not take dinner yet.
Time:09.40pm
Location:Room 14...
I though wanna take Wendy to the garden do I think it out and chat with Fong...just in case to be chill....and I promise her until...she come to my room..and forgive me...cause..she was a little busy..so..I just let her..and she was reading something..I guess..what???..Hmm...
Later....
Time:11.00pm
Location:Room 14....
me,Fong,Riby and Wennie was chat madly...sickly and bla bla bla...hahaha...very funny also.
Then...me and Fong set countdown of Riby's birthday...just in case...
For now...
Time:12.00am
Location:Room 14........
Happy Birthday sister...but..tomorrow I can't celebrate so...nevermind...I will wish you a prosperity life...and chill!!
By the way....what is Wendy doing???
Nevermind.....
Well...\
Time:Now....
Location:Room 14......
Blank...all is blank now....sigh....well...tomorrow had to go to Mentakab for Church youth Teens Society..I mean...today.....so...my journey will starts tomorrow..and also...a great time for me and her...and every youth.
Well......looks like Riby's birthday is up...and also....I got to chill out now...well...see you all......
To Be Continued....................................
Benny Liew......(Happy Birthday dear sister Riby and I don't know what to or how to said thanks to you...).........................................
Date:06.May.2010
Location:Room 14........
Happy birthday sister....and sister...and err...sigh...what a day..nevermind..I explain here.....
Time:02.20pm
Location:School...on way home....
Today...ARGH!!!...Son of a crap all my classmates!!..Hate them!!..Make Sir Leaong sick of them already....I hate them!!...
Well...while go home...my brother came..(Terry)..ask me that dad is fetch us.Well...who cares...and I wish Riby happy birthday....and she thanked me and go home...and my dad also just arrive....doesn't matter at all...
Time:05.30pm
Location:Room 14...
I was tired rest...hoping myself someone help me...sigh...but...I was asleep...from 05.30pm till 08.00pm..and I not take dinner yet.
Time:09.40pm
Location:Room 14...
I though wanna take Wendy to the garden do I think it out and chat with Fong...just in case to be chill....and I promise her until...she come to my room..and forgive me...cause..she was a little busy..so..I just let her..and she was reading something..I guess..what???..Hmm...
Later....
Time:11.00pm
Location:Room 14....
me,Fong,Riby and Wennie was chat madly...sickly and bla bla bla...hahaha...very funny also.
Then...me and Fong set countdown of Riby's birthday...just in case...
For now...
Time:12.00am
Location:Room 14........
Happy Birthday sister...but..tomorrow I can't celebrate so...nevermind...I will wish you a prosperity life...and chill!!
By the way....what is Wendy doing???
Nevermind.....
Well...\
Time:Now....
Location:Room 14......
Blank...all is blank now....sigh....well...tomorrow had to go to Mentakab for Church youth Teens Society..I mean...today.....so...my journey will starts tomorrow..and also...a great time for me and her...and every youth.
Well......looks like Riby's birthday is up...and also....I got to chill out now...well...see you all......
To Be Continued....................................
Benny Liew......(Happy Birthday dear sister Riby and I don't know what to or how to said thanks to you...).........................................
River Lullaby..(THE PRINCE OF EGYPT )...
Hush now, my baby
Be still love, don't cry
Sleep like you're rocked by the stream
Sleep and remember
My lullaby
And I'll be with you when you dream
Drift on a river
That flows through my arms
Drift as I'm singing to you
I see you smiling
So peaceful and calm
And holding you, I'm smiling, too
Here in my arms
Safe from all harm
Holding you, I'm smiling, too
Hush now, my baby
Be still, love, don't cry
Sleep like you're rocked by the stream
Sleep and remember this river lullaby
And I'll be with you when you dream
I'll be with you when you dream
.......1998.....The Prince of Egypt....
Be still love, don't cry
Sleep like you're rocked by the stream
Sleep and remember
My lullaby
And I'll be with you when you dream
Drift on a river
That flows through my arms
Drift as I'm singing to you
I see you smiling
So peaceful and calm
And holding you, I'm smiling, too
Here in my arms
Safe from all harm
Holding you, I'm smiling, too
Hush now, my baby
Be still, love, don't cry
Sleep like you're rocked by the stream
Sleep and remember this river lullaby
And I'll be with you when you dream
I'll be with you when you dream
.......1998.....The Prince of Egypt....
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
Different Than It...
We all make mistake......
That's what happen if we brave to choose decision....
I'll understand that now.............
I'm sorry for doubting you....
Our strength comes from our unity...
That means you can't be strong without us....
As you said "I'm stronger and better alone".........
I don't believe that..and I don't think you do either...
You're my friends of all......
I'm am one of them................
Even we got a job to do..........
A duty................
Rescuing ourselves from danger and hope is our destiny...............
Its your destiny too.................
And if there any of my friends know less............
You'll know what to do next............................................
Benny Liew.........(Created in my mind a few minutes ago...)...................
That's what happen if we brave to choose decision....
I'll understand that now.............
I'm sorry for doubting you....
Our strength comes from our unity...
That means you can't be strong without us....
As you said "I'm stronger and better alone".........
I don't believe that..and I don't think you do either...
You're my friends of all......
I'm am one of them................
Even we got a job to do..........
A duty................
Rescuing ourselves from danger and hope is our destiny...............
Its your destiny too.................
And if there any of my friends know less............
You'll know what to do next............................................
Benny Liew.........(Created in my mind a few minutes ago...)...................
Calm myself isn't done....
Time:09.55pm
Date:05.May.2010
Location:Room 14...
I was tired...feeling tired indeed and my eyes...were tearing up.Can't think what I want...to do now.By the way..what am I??
Time:05.40am
Location:Room 14...
She wake me up and my cloth were ready...and I had a bath and change.I look at Sumi room and Wendy hold my hand that time...tell me..."What should we do?"...
I just blew a deep sigh...and tell her that I'm ready...to go school.Miss.Landlady came out and she look very cute in her school dress.I told her study hard and she reply.."I WILL!!!"
Next....Ka Zi bring us to school....and I look at her eyes...like something can't make me up my mind.
Later...Ka Zi had send me to school and I thanked her.Although...it was very early..and that time was 06.20am...
Location:School....
Time:02.00pm
SKIP ALL THE 7 HOURS!!!I HATE IT!!!BUT I LIKE ONE THING....STUDY HARD!!!
Later..Riby went out and tell me that we all gonna go out with Fong..and I never know that.Her friend...I not remeber what's her name..shared about Fadly...my old friend..who is pervert and playboy....and our love doctor..that is Fong...try to tell something...about manage...hehehe..and then...I had war leg with Riby...hahaha...
Later...
Fong had to go take his sister...wait??...Brother??..I don't know...and I was try to kill my feeling..stand it up.
I went to the toilet and look myself in the mirror...imagine what happen at my friends...family.....Wendyll....Sumi...and my life...what had I done???..Did I..did something???Or maybe...it was wrong...and end...
Then............
Fong came in..and I don't know..he hand me a few tissue and I wipe my tears off.I tell him to lets go..and my face were red cheers....and we all went back to school...
Tell him say see ya...and I got a few things to do now...
Time:05.30pm
Location:On the way back....
Skip all the activity parts...and also...I help Riby take up her books..and went up the stairs.I look outside...IT WAS UNCLE JO!!!...So...I had to gave the books back to her...and she thanked me I think...and I went in the car.Uncle Jo start to laugh at his music...==''...
Time:06.30pm
Location:Room 14...
I went on...and take shower..online for a few minutes...and then..I take a walk at the garden.I look at Wendy..and her face were look tired..like me..as we both are.I went upon to her...and ask her what happen today...she look at me..and say..."Tired"...hahaha...I know...me also...
She went to her room..and maybe she's online I guess.
So....I take a rest at the garden...for a few moment although it was rain.
Time:08.30pm
Location:Dining room...
Dinners serve...Wendy not coming yet...and I go to her room..and knock her door...ask her what is she doing and she was online...I told her dinners ready and she came out..with a weird face to me.
So...she just hold my hand...hard...and tell me..what happen..and I told her nothing.
Dinners ready....Sumi was there..and she look happier a little...cause..she start to smile at me...and everyone.Nick was eating snacks only...jeez...
Miss.Landlady was having fun with Mui Mui...and she told me...no need to wash the plates and bowls.
Time:09.00pm
Location:Corridors.....
A wonders for second...she tell me to tell her the truth..what is up with me..and I told her...wisely...my life...can't go on well...cause..we both might stay for a year..not go on...so..I will do whatever it takes for you.She suddenly...kiss me...and had a wonder and tell me...a year...of though and mind.I understand....that now...
She just kiss me in the lips..for the second time...and I wonder...my heart has fallen.My....feeling...like having great...but...I'll miss my twins...Lawrence..for this time.I pray...wishing well...to go on..
Time:Now......
Location:Room 14.........
I take her to her room..and say thanks to her and she take her hand and put at my chest...feeling the heartbeat and say.."Here..."...and she close the door...
I went to Sumi room...and she was sleeping...so..I leave her alone...for a while
I just had a miserable day for a moment but still...I understand about that now...what has chosen for each of us.
Thanks..Fong..I mean..brother...if Lawrence...alive...I wish he will meet you two one day but...he's gone so...one day..I will.
And friends out there...one day..and I will pray you all...and great day and a debt I had done...and my family...I love you all...and wish your life will go on...and you..my dear...although we both one year life...I will...know you..as I do in my heart...like we use to 6 years ago..with Lawrence...
Well..now I blog finish and my dog here...Law...disturb me...and take out my shirt in my closet...damn it!!...Well..I got to go and sleep early...cause..I was tired and tears out...well...got to go..see you all...and I'll never say goodbye......
To Be Continued.....................
Benny Liew............(To beside you all time...if I would...............)........................
Date:05.May.2010
Location:Room 14...
I was tired...feeling tired indeed and my eyes...were tearing up.Can't think what I want...to do now.By the way..what am I??
Time:05.40am
Location:Room 14...
She wake me up and my cloth were ready...and I had a bath and change.I look at Sumi room and Wendy hold my hand that time...tell me..."What should we do?"...
I just blew a deep sigh...and tell her that I'm ready...to go school.Miss.Landlady came out and she look very cute in her school dress.I told her study hard and she reply.."I WILL!!!"
Next....Ka Zi bring us to school....and I look at her eyes...like something can't make me up my mind.
Later...Ka Zi had send me to school and I thanked her.Although...it was very early..and that time was 06.20am...
Location:School....
Time:02.00pm
SKIP ALL THE 7 HOURS!!!I HATE IT!!!BUT I LIKE ONE THING....STUDY HARD!!!
Later..Riby went out and tell me that we all gonna go out with Fong..and I never know that.Her friend...I not remeber what's her name..shared about Fadly...my old friend..who is pervert and playboy....and our love doctor..that is Fong...try to tell something...about manage...hehehe..and then...I had war leg with Riby...hahaha...
Later...
Fong had to go take his sister...wait??...Brother??..I don't know...and I was try to kill my feeling..stand it up.
I went to the toilet and look myself in the mirror...imagine what happen at my friends...family.....Wendyll....Sumi...and my life...what had I done???..Did I..did something???Or maybe...it was wrong...and end...
Then............
Fong came in..and I don't know..he hand me a few tissue and I wipe my tears off.I tell him to lets go..and my face were red cheers....and we all went back to school...
Tell him say see ya...and I got a few things to do now...
Time:05.30pm
Location:On the way back....
Skip all the activity parts...and also...I help Riby take up her books..and went up the stairs.I look outside...IT WAS UNCLE JO!!!...So...I had to gave the books back to her...and she thanked me I think...and I went in the car.Uncle Jo start to laugh at his music...==''...
Time:06.30pm
Location:Room 14...
I went on...and take shower..online for a few minutes...and then..I take a walk at the garden.I look at Wendy..and her face were look tired..like me..as we both are.I went upon to her...and ask her what happen today...she look at me..and say..."Tired"...hahaha...I know...me also...
She went to her room..and maybe she's online I guess.
So....I take a rest at the garden...for a few moment although it was rain.
Time:08.30pm
Location:Dining room...
Dinners serve...Wendy not coming yet...and I go to her room..and knock her door...ask her what is she doing and she was online...I told her dinners ready and she came out..with a weird face to me.
So...she just hold my hand...hard...and tell me..what happen..and I told her nothing.
Dinners ready....Sumi was there..and she look happier a little...cause..she start to smile at me...and everyone.Nick was eating snacks only...jeez...
Miss.Landlady was having fun with Mui Mui...and she told me...no need to wash the plates and bowls.
Time:09.00pm
Location:Corridors.....
A wonders for second...she tell me to tell her the truth..what is up with me..and I told her...wisely...my life...can't go on well...cause..we both might stay for a year..not go on...so..I will do whatever it takes for you.She suddenly...kiss me...and had a wonder and tell me...a year...of though and mind.I understand....that now...
She just kiss me in the lips..for the second time...and I wonder...my heart has fallen.My....feeling...like having great...but...I'll miss my twins...Lawrence..for this time.I pray...wishing well...to go on..
Time:Now......
Location:Room 14.........
I take her to her room..and say thanks to her and she take her hand and put at my chest...feeling the heartbeat and say.."Here..."...and she close the door...
I went to Sumi room...and she was sleeping...so..I leave her alone...for a while
I just had a miserable day for a moment but still...I understand about that now...what has chosen for each of us.
Thanks..Fong..I mean..brother...if Lawrence...alive...I wish he will meet you two one day but...he's gone so...one day..I will.
And friends out there...one day..and I will pray you all...and great day and a debt I had done...and my family...I love you all...and wish your life will go on...and you..my dear...although we both one year life...I will...know you..as I do in my heart...like we use to 6 years ago..with Lawrence...
Well..now I blog finish and my dog here...Law...disturb me...and take out my shirt in my closet...damn it!!...Well..I got to go and sleep early...cause..I was tired and tears out...well...got to go..see you all...and I'll never say goodbye......
To Be Continued.....................
Benny Liew............(To beside you all time...if I would...............)........................
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
What seems so long...has been gone..(Sumi stories)
Time:10.15pm
Date:04.May.2010
Location:Room 14....
Cry..let your feelings off my dear....and I will understand more....
Today.....
Time:12.40pm
Location:Room 14
Did not go to school...that is..cause...I was having a little fever...and when I was online...Riby also online...and she also got fever!!...I didn't know what and hope so she'll heal fast.Then....my leg...like ice..can't feel a single muscle...and had to massage for a while.
Wendy already went to school...and she had a busy day today...and Miss.Landlady also went to school...so,me,Sumi,Nick,Ka Zi will take over.I was in my room the whole time.Then...someone knocks the door.
It was Nick and tell me what happen to me.I told him I got a little fever...and he went to the dinning room and gave me medicine.I thanked him and he nodded his head and walk away...and I wonder what happen to me and why I got fever???
OH YEAH!!!..YESTERDAY!!!...I was share a little sip of coffee with Wendy!!...NO WONDER....jeez....spread disease already....sigh.........................
Time:02.50pm
Location:Corridor...outside...
I went out..and see if Wendy came back..and I saw her..she was there.I ran there..and a little weak too..and help her take her books and bag.I walk inside...and we both saw Sumi...holding a book and went in to her room.We both look at each other...and wonder...what to do...and....I got a plan.
Then..I take Wendy to her room...and she had to bath..so...I take a nap for a while..in her room...and my eyes were close....shut in a dream for a few moment....
ZZZzzzZzzz.........................
Time:05.40pm
Location:Room 15....
I woke up and look at the time..and the time was...OH NO!!!!...Almost 06.00pm!!????
I wake up...and went to my room...had shower and change...and I realize...I bath once...sigh....
Then...I return to Wendy room..and she was using her laptop..hearing songs and download songs.Wendy look at me...as she wanted to tell me something.And...I went infront..seat next to her and talk to her.
I tell her...
"Why don't..we tonight share stories with Sumi?"
"Yeah...I will."..she reply..
I was happy to hear that..so,tonight..we will!!
Time:07.50pm
Location:Dining room...
We having dinner..and everyone was silent.Sumi finish her food fast..and so on with Ka Zi..and Ka Zi said..."Who want to follow me to 7-Eleven?"
I raise me hand...and so does Wendy...cause...as plan..we follow.
We both finish already...and get ready.So...we both follow Ka Zi.
Time:08.30pm
Location:7-Eleven
After finish our dinner...we both went to 7-Eleven with Ka Zi and bought some snacks...I mean...kinda a lot...well..spend a lot too....we bought chocolates,beverage,drinks,some groceries and snacks.....
And the receipt...RM30.45....I pay half,Wendy pay half and Ka Zi pay one per five...it's unfair and she still said.."Tax car for you two...hehehe"...==''
Well...after that...she bring us home....and I was behind with Wendy...and she look outside...and I try to hold her hand....and got it.It was cold...and she look at me..and smile at me..and I told her.."As we plan"...and she nodded her head.
Later....
Location:Home...then...we both when to Room 2
We walk together back...and Ka Zi went to her room...so,I and Wendy walk to Sumi room...
I knock her room door...and she open it.Wendy start to speak.She said..."Can we come in..we want to share something...maybe snacks."..
And then...she open the door..
We both went in and look in her room.It was beautiful...and nice.
Time:09.12pm
Location:Room 2...
Wendy put the snacks and beverage down and start to talk to her...and look at her photos.
I look at one of her frame photo.It was touching..it was a family photo.Her dad was standing infront,her mom was next her dad and she was next to her dad..and make a perfect shot of her family.
I ask her...how old was she when she take this photo.She said when she was 11 years old.
Then...I ask Wendy and Sumi to sit down and tell her to enjoy drinks.I gave her biscuit and drinks..while Wendy put her hand on her back..and tell her...a special thing...a story...and we both ask her....how was her old life???She put down her food and start to talk.She tell us..a story...from the past...
Year:2005.....
Location:Selangor...
"""Her age were just 9 years old and she was having fun with her family.It was a joyful life.She also told us about her father...who was a business man works for books company and her mom was a house-wife.Her dad...was a lover,a care taker and know what is best for his both wife and daughter.
It was in those days she had a great life with them...and also..a great care of love as much as she can go on.
Then...she continue her story....
Year:2007...
Location:Selangor....her home...
Her mom and dad having problems and had nothing to do neither work...it was because her dad company bankrupt...and had no work to do.So..her dad had to work as a car business for another month..and it was success.So...her dad life will go on again.
Her age was 11...and know what is best to study hard for next year UPSR...to makeher parents proud and go on to a brighter future....but...it was hopeless...
Year:2008....
Location:On the way to Kuala Lumpur....
She pass her UPSR with flying colors..that is 7 A's!!!....Her parents were proud of her...and gave her a locket...with her name and her family picture carved on it.It was a great gifts.
Her family want to visit their relatives...and she was happy.Sumi understand that she did not visit her cousin for months...and also she miss her aunt there.
Later...while on the way....a car was heading towards her car and smash her dad and mom from the front.She was behind and her head knock behind the glass and fainted...and she don't know what happen next.."""
Later....she put her both hand on her face and start crying...and her tears were fill of sadness that I never though.Her happiness can't feel for a thousand times ever.On that time....>>>
Year:December 2008
location:Hospital Kuala Lumpur...
"""She and her family bring to the hospital and her mom and dad...was..too late to be saved.She woke up in a light and she look up...it was the hospital ward light.She then...saw a doctor and three policeman approach on her...and tell her her a bad news...that her mom and dad...has no more..and long gone.Her heart...were break..her tears...were flow...and cry.She shout and told them...it's not real..it's not real.
It was real...and her tears...later...when to a slumber sleep...
Now....she had no where to go..and no where...to lives.
By next week...her uncle will bring her somewhere she will stay alone...that is...here...and here..she will study and go on her lives.Her uncle didn't want to take care of her.That is why..she was lonely."""
She cried hard and Wendy hug her from the side.My tears was a little..came out and feel her side...and I know..her feelings was 1000 deep can't feel her happiness.I take her hand...and pray...and Wendy took our hands...and pray...wish..and hope for help...and help is hope.
I smile at her...and she said.."Is it good...to had a great time?"..and I tell her...yes...
I take out the chocolate and gave her...she eat it...and look at us.Her tears were stop.Her eyes were look tired...so...we both decided to let her rest.I take her to her bed...and Wendy clean the place up.I blanket her...and tell her...."Be patience,we will...help you"...and she nodded her head...and close her eyes.I look at Wendy and she smile at me.
After that...we had to go out...and I tell Sumi...."Happy always" and off her room light...and hope...she won't cry no more.
I close the door...and Wendy stop and wait for me...then...we both walk together to her room.
Time:Now...
Location:Room 14....
I take Wendy to her room and she said..."Ben...you're too kind.And I like when you are and who you are.I also...like you..when...your heart is warm and fuzzy.I love you"
My face were red boiled and I told her..."Me too..and I understand that."
She look at me and went in her room.And wave my hand to her...and I went back to my room.I had a great stories to know..and to know...what is sadness rather than happiness.I hope...you all will understand what is it.
Now...I finish my blog..with my heart burden deep...and Sumi...I wish...and pray for you...like my brother..who lost too.
And also...I will tell you about my old life with Wendy and Lawrence.I will.......
Wendy...I love you...and also...my heart has burden deep..and I will study hard and success in life together.I promise....
To mom and dad....I hope you two will go on...even now your son is here alone...you are my inspiration of hope.I love you both....
Friends.....I know you all..but we can be as long as we can...and also...maybe some of you all son't know me yet...and one day..you will.....
Myself....I care what is go on....and I lead the one who choose to follow.......and I stop here....as my heart was burden deep inside....
To Be Continued...........................
Benny Liew...............(Is a care of true hope...a care of fragile hope....and a hope of fragile love................)..................................
Date:04.May.2010
Location:Room 14....
Cry..let your feelings off my dear....and I will understand more....
Today.....
Time:12.40pm
Location:Room 14
Did not go to school...that is..cause...I was having a little fever...and when I was online...Riby also online...and she also got fever!!...I didn't know what and hope so she'll heal fast.Then....my leg...like ice..can't feel a single muscle...and had to massage for a while.
Wendy already went to school...and she had a busy day today...and Miss.Landlady also went to school...so,me,Sumi,Nick,Ka Zi will take over.I was in my room the whole time.Then...someone knocks the door.
It was Nick and tell me what happen to me.I told him I got a little fever...and he went to the dinning room and gave me medicine.I thanked him and he nodded his head and walk away...and I wonder what happen to me and why I got fever???
OH YEAH!!!..YESTERDAY!!!...I was share a little sip of coffee with Wendy!!...NO WONDER....jeez....spread disease already....sigh.........................
Time:02.50pm
Location:Corridor...outside...
I went out..and see if Wendy came back..and I saw her..she was there.I ran there..and a little weak too..and help her take her books and bag.I walk inside...and we both saw Sumi...holding a book and went in to her room.We both look at each other...and wonder...what to do...and....I got a plan.
Then..I take Wendy to her room...and she had to bath..so...I take a nap for a while..in her room...and my eyes were close....shut in a dream for a few moment....
ZZZzzzZzzz.........................
Time:05.40pm
Location:Room 15....
I woke up and look at the time..and the time was...OH NO!!!!...Almost 06.00pm!!????
I wake up...and went to my room...had shower and change...and I realize...I bath once...sigh....
Then...I return to Wendy room..and she was using her laptop..hearing songs and download songs.Wendy look at me...as she wanted to tell me something.And...I went infront..seat next to her and talk to her.
I tell her...
"Why don't..we tonight share stories with Sumi?"
"Yeah...I will."..she reply..
I was happy to hear that..so,tonight..we will!!
Time:07.50pm
Location:Dining room...
We having dinner..and everyone was silent.Sumi finish her food fast..and so on with Ka Zi..and Ka Zi said..."Who want to follow me to 7-Eleven?"
I raise me hand...and so does Wendy...cause...as plan..we follow.
We both finish already...and get ready.So...we both follow Ka Zi.
Time:08.30pm
Location:7-Eleven
After finish our dinner...we both went to 7-Eleven with Ka Zi and bought some snacks...I mean...kinda a lot...well..spend a lot too....we bought chocolates,beverage,drinks,some groceries and snacks.....
And the receipt...RM30.45....I pay half,Wendy pay half and Ka Zi pay one per five...it's unfair and she still said.."Tax car for you two...hehehe"...==''
Well...after that...she bring us home....and I was behind with Wendy...and she look outside...and I try to hold her hand....and got it.It was cold...and she look at me..and smile at me..and I told her.."As we plan"...and she nodded her head.
Later....
Location:Home...then...we both when to Room 2
We walk together back...and Ka Zi went to her room...so,I and Wendy walk to Sumi room...
I knock her room door...and she open it.Wendy start to speak.She said..."Can we come in..we want to share something...maybe snacks."..
And then...she open the door..
We both went in and look in her room.It was beautiful...and nice.
Time:09.12pm
Location:Room 2...
Wendy put the snacks and beverage down and start to talk to her...and look at her photos.
I look at one of her frame photo.It was touching..it was a family photo.Her dad was standing infront,her mom was next her dad and she was next to her dad..and make a perfect shot of her family.
I ask her...how old was she when she take this photo.She said when she was 11 years old.
Then...I ask Wendy and Sumi to sit down and tell her to enjoy drinks.I gave her biscuit and drinks..while Wendy put her hand on her back..and tell her...a special thing...a story...and we both ask her....how was her old life???She put down her food and start to talk.She tell us..a story...from the past...
Year:2005.....
Location:Selangor...
"""Her age were just 9 years old and she was having fun with her family.It was a joyful life.She also told us about her father...who was a business man works for books company and her mom was a house-wife.Her dad...was a lover,a care taker and know what is best for his both wife and daughter.
It was in those days she had a great life with them...and also..a great care of love as much as she can go on.
Then...she continue her story....
Year:2007...
Location:Selangor....her home...
Her mom and dad having problems and had nothing to do neither work...it was because her dad company bankrupt...and had no work to do.So..her dad had to work as a car business for another month..and it was success.So...her dad life will go on again.
Her age was 11...and know what is best to study hard for next year UPSR...to makeher parents proud and go on to a brighter future....but...it was hopeless...
Year:2008....
Location:On the way to Kuala Lumpur....
She pass her UPSR with flying colors..that is 7 A's!!!....Her parents were proud of her...and gave her a locket...with her name and her family picture carved on it.It was a great gifts.
Her family want to visit their relatives...and she was happy.Sumi understand that she did not visit her cousin for months...and also she miss her aunt there.
Later...while on the way....a car was heading towards her car and smash her dad and mom from the front.She was behind and her head knock behind the glass and fainted...and she don't know what happen next.."""
Later....she put her both hand on her face and start crying...and her tears were fill of sadness that I never though.Her happiness can't feel for a thousand times ever.On that time....>>>
Year:December 2008
location:Hospital Kuala Lumpur...
"""She and her family bring to the hospital and her mom and dad...was..too late to be saved.She woke up in a light and she look up...it was the hospital ward light.She then...saw a doctor and three policeman approach on her...and tell her her a bad news...that her mom and dad...has no more..and long gone.Her heart...were break..her tears...were flow...and cry.She shout and told them...it's not real..it's not real.
It was real...and her tears...later...when to a slumber sleep...
Now....she had no where to go..and no where...to lives.
By next week...her uncle will bring her somewhere she will stay alone...that is...here...and here..she will study and go on her lives.Her uncle didn't want to take care of her.That is why..she was lonely."""
She cried hard and Wendy hug her from the side.My tears was a little..came out and feel her side...and I know..her feelings was 1000 deep can't feel her happiness.I take her hand...and pray...and Wendy took our hands...and pray...wish..and hope for help...and help is hope.
I smile at her...and she said.."Is it good...to had a great time?"..and I tell her...yes...
I take out the chocolate and gave her...she eat it...and look at us.Her tears were stop.Her eyes were look tired...so...we both decided to let her rest.I take her to her bed...and Wendy clean the place up.I blanket her...and tell her...."Be patience,we will...help you"...and she nodded her head...and close her eyes.I look at Wendy and she smile at me.
After that...we had to go out...and I tell Sumi...."Happy always" and off her room light...and hope...she won't cry no more.
I close the door...and Wendy stop and wait for me...then...we both walk together to her room.
Time:Now...
Location:Room 14....
I take Wendy to her room and she said..."Ben...you're too kind.And I like when you are and who you are.I also...like you..when...your heart is warm and fuzzy.I love you"
My face were red boiled and I told her..."Me too..and I understand that."
She look at me and went in her room.And wave my hand to her...and I went back to my room.I had a great stories to know..and to know...what is sadness rather than happiness.I hope...you all will understand what is it.
Now...I finish my blog..with my heart burden deep...and Sumi...I wish...and pray for you...like my brother..who lost too.
And also...I will tell you about my old life with Wendy and Lawrence.I will.......
Wendy...I love you...and also...my heart has burden deep..and I will study hard and success in life together.I promise....
To mom and dad....I hope you two will go on...even now your son is here alone...you are my inspiration of hope.I love you both....
Friends.....I know you all..but we can be as long as we can...and also...maybe some of you all son't know me yet...and one day..you will.....
Myself....I care what is go on....and I lead the one who choose to follow.......and I stop here....as my heart was burden deep inside....
To Be Continued...........................
Benny Liew...............(Is a care of true hope...a care of fragile hope....and a hope of fragile love................)..................................
Monday, May 3, 2010
Rather what I want to know....
Time:10.01pm
date:03.April.2010
Location:Room 14...
Reckless....too reckless...don't want to know much...
Time:05.30pm
Location:On the way home....
Damn it!!...Uncle Jo came late again!!!...Gosh..feel like wanna crap off!!
Then...Wendy was behind me and piggy back on my behind.I was shocked and it was heavy.I look back..and she smiled at me.She looks like a little childish...kinda...so..I went to my room..and get rest.I told Wendy to help me a little...that is...make me a cup of good warm coffee.She nodded her head and smile again.I thanked her....and she went away....and I was relax..myself...and chat with my friends for a while.
Later....she came in..and I smell good taste of bittersweet.I ask her if she wanna share with me but she denied..so..I finish it.I told her it was marvelous!!I put my hand on her head..and we both laugh for a while and she told me to go and bath..cause.. just return to school...so..I does what she said.
Time:06.00pm
Location:Room 15...
After I finish bath....I went to my room and change.After that...she ask me to help her to do Yahoo E-mail account...cause...Hotmail account always jammed the line.So...I done for her...and the account is...emm...maybe I tell you one day...cause...here is not secured.
She kiss my cheek and tell me thanks.I also tell her welcome and my face turn red.Well...it's dinner now.
Time:08.00pm
location:Dining room....
We all had dinner together...and Miss.Landlady look at us...like smiling at us..and tell us..we both cute when seat together.I know...it's cute....hahaha...
Well....after dinner...I help Miss.Landlady wash the plates and bowl...then..I saw Sumi walk outside.I was a little worry...about her again...look at her...shy to talk..that is.
Then..after that...I hold Sumi shoulder and told her wait and tell her what happen..and she told me nothing...and went off.Wendy look at me...and I told her we must help Sumi.She agrees...
Time:Now....
Location:Room 14...
Then...I take Wendy to her room...tell her to sleep early because...she need go to school tomorrow and her duty must done too.
So...looks like I blog kinda early too...cause...I wanna sleep early.I hope....Sumi will understand more about life in here....and also...we will help her...
To Be Continued................................
Benny Liew...............(I will help you..and we will support you,dear Sumi.............)...................................................
date:03.April.2010
Location:Room 14...
Reckless....too reckless...don't want to know much...
Time:05.30pm
Location:On the way home....
Damn it!!...Uncle Jo came late again!!!...Gosh..feel like wanna crap off!!
Then...Wendy was behind me and piggy back on my behind.I was shocked and it was heavy.I look back..and she smiled at me.She looks like a little childish...kinda...so..I went to my room..and get rest.I told Wendy to help me a little...that is...make me a cup of good warm coffee.She nodded her head and smile again.I thanked her....and she went away....and I was relax..myself...and chat with my friends for a while.
Later....she came in..and I smell good taste of bittersweet.I ask her if she wanna share with me but she denied..so..I finish it.I told her it was marvelous!!I put my hand on her head..and we both laugh for a while and she told me to go and bath..cause.. just return to school...so..I does what she said.
Time:06.00pm
Location:Room 15...
After I finish bath....I went to my room and change.After that...she ask me to help her to do Yahoo E-mail account...cause...Hotmail account always jammed the line.So...I done for her...and the account is...emm...maybe I tell you one day...cause...here is not secured.
She kiss my cheek and tell me thanks.I also tell her welcome and my face turn red.Well...it's dinner now.
Time:08.00pm
location:Dining room....
We all had dinner together...and Miss.Landlady look at us...like smiling at us..and tell us..we both cute when seat together.I know...it's cute....hahaha...
Well....after dinner...I help Miss.Landlady wash the plates and bowl...then..I saw Sumi walk outside.I was a little worry...about her again...look at her...shy to talk..that is.
Then..after that...I hold Sumi shoulder and told her wait and tell her what happen..and she told me nothing...and went off.Wendy look at me...and I told her we must help Sumi.She agrees...
Time:Now....
Location:Room 14...
Then...I take Wendy to her room...tell her to sleep early because...she need go to school tomorrow and her duty must done too.
So...looks like I blog kinda early too...cause...I wanna sleep early.I hope....Sumi will understand more about life in here....and also...we will help her...
To Be Continued................................
Benny Liew...............(I will help you..and we will support you,dear Sumi.............)...................................................
Sunday, May 2, 2010
It won't happen again...
Time:11.04pm
Date:02.May.2010
Location:Room 14...
It won't..and it will not...happen again.I will help you as I do...and my friends too...just in case...well,about today.....like a little things that a claw on your hand...hmmm....
Time:07.20am
Location:Room 14....
I woke up...and my head were spin drowsy...cause...last night...the question..why???I got the answer but...I can't answer it..still..why????
Well..I walk to the bathroom and wash myself...and look at the mirror.What if....then...I look back..it was a hope.I can answer it..still...hard and nervous.
I go back to my room...and change...
Time:08.30am
Location:Room 15...
After I change...I went to Wendy room..and tell her I going to church.She said she wanted to go but....her condition..still like that...but at least she's fine now...then..I ask Sumi..as she woke up earlier that I expected.I ask her if she wanted to join me to church...and she denied me...she just shake her head and said no...and went to the bathroom...sigh...looks like I had to go alone.
Ka Zi...was ready...and she sent me to church...
Time:08.55am
location:Church...
Today is not me teach the kids..it's another pastor.So...I just seat back..and talk to my youth for a while...about this Friday we'll going to Mentakab...I mean..the whole church in Pahang youth will be going.So...Wai Hong...our leader youth..tells me that he will know what to do as he plan.I ask Ying Yi too..as she know what to do next.
Time:11.20am
Location:Worship corner....
I was message worship so we all listen to it.It was boring but...I was stunted on Pastor Siew...that is Ying Yi mom...tell everyone about parents and child problem.Why..today child so ignore of their parents???Then..she said..."Let us pray and giving hope to our child"..and I saw everyone take their child..hugging each other...saying sorry..and I saw Ying Yi and Yi Ming....both sister...pray on their families..holding hands...four of them.Is this family...of truth???I guess...it is.I just look at them..and keep in my heart...
" I love you mom...dad...as I know...my heart...know in another place..I will always know you.."
Time:02.00pm
Location:On the way back....
Message finish...and I went to Ying Yi mom...tell her what does it feels to had a great relationship in family.She told me..."God decide us...He help us.."..and I know..he will.
Then...I call Ka Zi...and waited for her.
She arrived and she was a little clumsy cause....her hand got a little cut...sigh...what the???...
Time:03.00pm
Location:Room 14...
I went in to my room..and had a bath...after that...change..and finish.I was tired and sleepy so...I went in to Wendy room and check.She was okay..and online use her laptop.So...I just leave it...tell her to be okay.And I told her.."I'll meet you tonight later at 09.00pm"..as she smile at me and said yes!!
I close the door..and went in my room.I jump on my bed and lay down.And then...my eyes were closing..and falling asleep......
ZZZZZzzzzzzzz...............
Time:07.30pm
Location:Room 14....(still sleep????WHAT!!???)
I woke up late!!!And it was dinner!!!...Damn!!!!...I rush to the washroom and wash my face and went in fast to the dining room...and look at it..it was only Miss.Landlady,Sumi,Mui Mui,Ian,Nick and Wendy.I went in..and Miss.Landlady told me that dinner Uncle Jo will go and pack.So...we wait...and he arrives after a few minutes.
Time:08.50pm
Location:Garden site....
We all had rice noodle with Chinese garlic sesame sauce..which is good.And also...I thanked to Uncle Jo.Later....
After we all finish...I call Wendy...as everyone had gone to their room.I hold her hand...alone..and walk to the garden and told her...the answer of yesterday...
The answer is...I care about you and I like you because....you're inside beauty..and I wanna shared and spared it on my life..."..and she hug me tight...and I didn't put my hand at her back..just hold her head on side.She tell me..."Worry not"..and also...I promise this year..I will success...for everyone..and her...
Time:Now....
Location:Room 14...
I just take her back to her room...and tell her to sleep early...cause...she had to go to school.I wish...I will.
Later...I mean..now...I was sure my one year duty will go on to my destiny...and I hope...it was it...my life is my destiny.
From now on...I will study hard...earn my meaningful life to my parents...to her...to my brothers and sister...and to my generation and so on...till forever the end.
And also....I hope...I will..go on..as I stand...and I will...till go on.My question.....has fulfill...and I know...for everytime...every year....every...generations...^^
To Be Continued.......................
Benny Liew..........(A promise is a promise...A lie is a lie............A fate is a fate......)............................
Date:02.May.2010
Location:Room 14...
It won't..and it will not...happen again.I will help you as I do...and my friends too...just in case...well,about today.....like a little things that a claw on your hand...hmmm....
Time:07.20am
Location:Room 14....
I woke up...and my head were spin drowsy...cause...last night...the question..why???I got the answer but...I can't answer it..still..why????
Well..I walk to the bathroom and wash myself...and look at the mirror.What if....then...I look back..it was a hope.I can answer it..still...hard and nervous.
I go back to my room...and change...
Time:08.30am
Location:Room 15...
After I change...I went to Wendy room..and tell her I going to church.She said she wanted to go but....her condition..still like that...but at least she's fine now...then..I ask Sumi..as she woke up earlier that I expected.I ask her if she wanted to join me to church...and she denied me...she just shake her head and said no...and went to the bathroom...sigh...looks like I had to go alone.
Ka Zi...was ready...and she sent me to church...
Time:08.55am
location:Church...
Today is not me teach the kids..it's another pastor.So...I just seat back..and talk to my youth for a while...about this Friday we'll going to Mentakab...I mean..the whole church in Pahang youth will be going.So...Wai Hong...our leader youth..tells me that he will know what to do as he plan.I ask Ying Yi too..as she know what to do next.
Time:11.20am
Location:Worship corner....
I was message worship so we all listen to it.It was boring but...I was stunted on Pastor Siew...that is Ying Yi mom...tell everyone about parents and child problem.Why..today child so ignore of their parents???Then..she said..."Let us pray and giving hope to our child"..and I saw everyone take their child..hugging each other...saying sorry..and I saw Ying Yi and Yi Ming....both sister...pray on their families..holding hands...four of them.Is this family...of truth???I guess...it is.I just look at them..and keep in my heart...
" I love you mom...dad...as I know...my heart...know in another place..I will always know you.."
Time:02.00pm
Location:On the way back....
Message finish...and I went to Ying Yi mom...tell her what does it feels to had a great relationship in family.She told me..."God decide us...He help us.."..and I know..he will.
Then...I call Ka Zi...and waited for her.
She arrived and she was a little clumsy cause....her hand got a little cut...sigh...what the???...
Time:03.00pm
Location:Room 14...
I went in to my room..and had a bath...after that...change..and finish.I was tired and sleepy so...I went in to Wendy room and check.She was okay..and online use her laptop.So...I just leave it...tell her to be okay.And I told her.."I'll meet you tonight later at 09.00pm"..as she smile at me and said yes!!
I close the door..and went in my room.I jump on my bed and lay down.And then...my eyes were closing..and falling asleep......
ZZZZZzzzzzzzz...............
Time:07.30pm
Location:Room 14....(still sleep????WHAT!!???)
I woke up late!!!And it was dinner!!!...Damn!!!!...I rush to the washroom and wash my face and went in fast to the dining room...and look at it..it was only Miss.Landlady,Sumi,Mui Mui,Ian,Nick and Wendy.I went in..and Miss.Landlady told me that dinner Uncle Jo will go and pack.So...we wait...and he arrives after a few minutes.
Time:08.50pm
Location:Garden site....
We all had rice noodle with Chinese garlic sesame sauce..which is good.And also...I thanked to Uncle Jo.Later....
After we all finish...I call Wendy...as everyone had gone to their room.I hold her hand...alone..and walk to the garden and told her...the answer of yesterday...
The answer is...I care about you and I like you because....you're inside beauty..and I wanna shared and spared it on my life..."..and she hug me tight...and I didn't put my hand at her back..just hold her head on side.She tell me..."Worry not"..and also...I promise this year..I will success...for everyone..and her...
Time:Now....
Location:Room 14...
I just take her back to her room...and tell her to sleep early...cause...she had to go to school.I wish...I will.
Later...I mean..now...I was sure my one year duty will go on to my destiny...and I hope...it was it...my life is my destiny.
From now on...I will study hard...earn my meaningful life to my parents...to her...to my brothers and sister...and to my generation and so on...till forever the end.
And also....I hope...I will..go on..as I stand...and I will...till go on.My question.....has fulfill...and I know...for everytime...every year....every...generations...^^
To Be Continued.......................
Benny Liew..........(A promise is a promise...A lie is a lie............A fate is a fate......)............................
Gazed moonlight in the night sky...
Time:12.35am
Date:02.May.2010
Location:Room 14....
I never doubt it anymore than ever again...and the people I had know.As the rose fell on the ground,I collect and the rose fell of a sound.Well...today...
Time:06.20am
Location:Room 15.......
I woke up early to see her condition.I was afraid she will getting worse and I was kinda worry.So..I open her room door and see..she was sleeping..and I seat on her bedside..touching her forehead.It was cool down.So..I went to the dining room and take a wet cold towel to lap her head.
She haven't wake up yet and she was gaze up a little.Her eyes were blurry and look at me.I tell her to lay down and she did.I put the towel on her head and she hold my arm..asking me why am I so care about her...and I had nothing to say.It is my duty to take care of her.
Later...I told her to rest more and I will see her in the morning at 11.00am later...and she was asleep..silently...and my heart thinking...why??
Time:07.30am
Location:The garden site.....
I was outside and it was so cold but the star shines up and never warm.Am I stupid yet nor the answer of it can't be answer?
Later...I seat near the pond alone...facing up the sky...watching the sun rise from the edge of the mountain.It was beautiful and nice.I ever seen it once again...and hope so.
Then...Miss.Landlady had awake and she greets me..and ask me why am I alone.I told her I was here because I wanted to see the sun rise.Miss.Landlady also joined me and tell me about her past life on here...she told me:
"When she was young,her grandfather was the landlord here and take care of this place.And also...when his grandfather was young...when Japanese Communist invaded Raub..this place was his sanctuary and the safeties place from them until...the place had been burn down since year 1949.Miss.Landlady also told me that her father was meant to be the landlord but..he wasn't.It was meant to be her sister,that is why she and her sister was the landlady here.She wish her sister come back soon."
I put my hand at her shoulder and told her....."It was meant to be.I know...I know...you might be better use of it"..and she smile at me and give me a gentle hug.I told her not to worry...and it's her duty here.
I let go of her and tell her...."So...I gotta see Wendy"..and she smile at me...and tell me.."You and her move in being a great mean to us"...and I smile back and tell her all the best!!
Time:09.30am
Location:Corridor side....
I went to her room and she was still sleeping.I don't want to disturb her but I wanted to see her condition.She was okay so I want outside and seat on the corridor...looking at those trees where wind blew breezily.I look at the sun..and it's fading away...and the wind getting cooler....
It was breakfast.......
Time:10.00am
Location:Dining room...
Everyone was there except Wendy and Uncle Jo...as he went out no where.And Wendy was in her room..resting....
Mui Mui look at me..and I look at outside and everyone look down..while munching sandwich and salad.I ask Nick if he go anywhere later and he said he'll going to Kuala Lipis later and Ian will be going out with Ka Zi to buy their things.Mui Mui and Miss.Landlady will be at home with me and Wendyll.Ah Sun will going out with his friends later.
Looks like
Time:11.03am
Location:Room 15....
As I promise her.....I went to her room and check on her.Just in case not to wake her up.She look really tired and she could laugh with me a little.At least...then..i peel some fruits for her that Miss.Landlady gave me...that is pearl.I gave her one by one and gave her drink 100PLUS...
Later...she don't want to be alone and I had to spend my time in the room...so...I help her a lot of things.
Then...I bring my laptop to her room and online as we both hearing music and she was cool down a while and fell asleep again...oh God....==''
Time:06.00pm
Location:Still..in Room 15....too lacked!!
I was dozed off from 04.00pm to 06.00pm!????OH MY!!???
I never knew it and I look at her bed...she's gone.I look at the dining room...she was there..with Mui Mui and Miss.Landlady..cooking.Cooking what I guess???
Later.....
Time:07.50pm
Location:Dining room.....
We all had dinner but the boys not yet return.Ka Zi when out with his brother and Nick,Ian and Uncle Jo too.Sigh.......looks like I'm alone with Mui Mui,Wendy,Miss.Lamdlady and Ah Sun now...but...Sumi???...Is she okay???
Sumi had been silent for three days...and she look thinner now.I...I can help her but...then.....
When we all had dinner...Sumi close her face and cried.....and she always said.."Forgive me"..and I really don't know what happen.I hold her shoulder and ask her what happen.She was shocked...and scared.I look at her eyes...like my twins...as I remember...I...I can't do this no more.
She look at me and said..."Help me..."..and I guess she's in trauma.Miss.Landlady hold her and take her to her room...and we'll had no more mood to eat anymore.....and I was worry on Sumi..she was in big fear that she can't get.
Now......what should I do?
Later.....
Time:10.00pm
Location:Room 15.....
I look up...the moon shines yellow bright...like a dream.I ask Wendy if she wanna join me and she wanted.I take her to the pond site and ask Sumi to join us.
We both when to her room...and Miss.Landlady with Mui Mui were there with Sumi...and she seems to be okay now.I salute her and pray for her....not to scared anymore.Later...we both had to go..and I let go of they three...wish Sumi...in happiness.
While then.....
Time:11.00pm
Location:The garden site.....
We both talk about life...as she cuddle me from the side...and my life were inside her heart as I ever know.I told her about friendship...life..and what went on now.She just listen to me...and Sumi...Oh Gosh...wish we could help her.....
Then....the moon rise slowly and the stars...was very little.I can see everyone of it.And my hand...was freeze...
Law were sleeping in my room all I know he knows how to do is sleep and eat.....==''
Later.....
Time:12.10am....
Location:Room 15....
I send her back to her room...and tell her to rest.I put her on bed and I didn't kiss her forehead yet.I hope...I'll help her.I lay her down...and let go...and close the door and look at Sumi room door.I understand how is the feeling if we lost the love one.
Later....
Time:Now..............
Location:Room 14..........
I was alone in my room.....looking the moon myself at the window and look at my life.Was I too sad or....was I????
Sumi...wish we understand us too and about you...we just like you..who lost a brother.Hope...I know what is meant to be.
And also....now....my tears still flows.....and my heart...sad....hurt...like use to be....when her gone.
I hope...I could help everyone.
And hope....................................is fragile..................
To Be Continued...............................
Benny Liew................(What has meant to be a hope???Is it...fragile????Or is it........simple..)..............................
Date:02.May.2010
Location:Room 14....
I never doubt it anymore than ever again...and the people I had know.As the rose fell on the ground,I collect and the rose fell of a sound.Well...today...
Time:06.20am
Location:Room 15.......
I woke up early to see her condition.I was afraid she will getting worse and I was kinda worry.So..I open her room door and see..she was sleeping..and I seat on her bedside..touching her forehead.It was cool down.So..I went to the dining room and take a wet cold towel to lap her head.
She haven't wake up yet and she was gaze up a little.Her eyes were blurry and look at me.I tell her to lay down and she did.I put the towel on her head and she hold my arm..asking me why am I so care about her...and I had nothing to say.It is my duty to take care of her.
Later...I told her to rest more and I will see her in the morning at 11.00am later...and she was asleep..silently...and my heart thinking...why??
Time:07.30am
Location:The garden site.....
I was outside and it was so cold but the star shines up and never warm.Am I stupid yet nor the answer of it can't be answer?
Later...I seat near the pond alone...facing up the sky...watching the sun rise from the edge of the mountain.It was beautiful and nice.I ever seen it once again...and hope so.
Then...Miss.Landlady had awake and she greets me..and ask me why am I alone.I told her I was here because I wanted to see the sun rise.Miss.Landlady also joined me and tell me about her past life on here...she told me:
"When she was young,her grandfather was the landlord here and take care of this place.And also...when his grandfather was young...when Japanese Communist invaded Raub..this place was his sanctuary and the safeties place from them until...the place had been burn down since year 1949.Miss.Landlady also told me that her father was meant to be the landlord but..he wasn't.It was meant to be her sister,that is why she and her sister was the landlady here.She wish her sister come back soon."
I put my hand at her shoulder and told her....."It was meant to be.I know...I know...you might be better use of it"..and she smile at me and give me a gentle hug.I told her not to worry...and it's her duty here.
I let go of her and tell her...."So...I gotta see Wendy"..and she smile at me...and tell me.."You and her move in being a great mean to us"...and I smile back and tell her all the best!!
Time:09.30am
Location:Corridor side....
I went to her room and she was still sleeping.I don't want to disturb her but I wanted to see her condition.She was okay so I want outside and seat on the corridor...looking at those trees where wind blew breezily.I look at the sun..and it's fading away...and the wind getting cooler....
It was breakfast.......
Time:10.00am
Location:Dining room...
Everyone was there except Wendy and Uncle Jo...as he went out no where.And Wendy was in her room..resting....
Mui Mui look at me..and I look at outside and everyone look down..while munching sandwich and salad.I ask Nick if he go anywhere later and he said he'll going to Kuala Lipis later and Ian will be going out with Ka Zi to buy their things.Mui Mui and Miss.Landlady will be at home with me and Wendyll.Ah Sun will going out with his friends later.
Looks like
Time:11.03am
Location:Room 15....
As I promise her.....I went to her room and check on her.Just in case not to wake her up.She look really tired and she could laugh with me a little.At least...then..i peel some fruits for her that Miss.Landlady gave me...that is pearl.I gave her one by one and gave her drink 100PLUS...
Later...she don't want to be alone and I had to spend my time in the room...so...I help her a lot of things.
Then...I bring my laptop to her room and online as we both hearing music and she was cool down a while and fell asleep again...oh God....==''
Time:06.00pm
Location:Still..in Room 15....too lacked!!
I was dozed off from 04.00pm to 06.00pm!????OH MY!!???
I never knew it and I look at her bed...she's gone.I look at the dining room...she was there..with Mui Mui and Miss.Landlady..cooking.Cooking what I guess???
Later.....
Time:07.50pm
Location:Dining room.....
We all had dinner but the boys not yet return.Ka Zi when out with his brother and Nick,Ian and Uncle Jo too.Sigh.......looks like I'm alone with Mui Mui,Wendy,Miss.Lamdlady and Ah Sun now...but...Sumi???...Is she okay???
Sumi had been silent for three days...and she look thinner now.I...I can help her but...then.....
When we all had dinner...Sumi close her face and cried.....and she always said.."Forgive me"..and I really don't know what happen.I hold her shoulder and ask her what happen.She was shocked...and scared.I look at her eyes...like my twins...as I remember...I...I can't do this no more.
She look at me and said..."Help me..."..and I guess she's in trauma.Miss.Landlady hold her and take her to her room...and we'll had no more mood to eat anymore.....and I was worry on Sumi..she was in big fear that she can't get.
Now......what should I do?
Later.....
Time:10.00pm
Location:Room 15.....
I look up...the moon shines yellow bright...like a dream.I ask Wendy if she wanna join me and she wanted.I take her to the pond site and ask Sumi to join us.
We both when to her room...and Miss.Landlady with Mui Mui were there with Sumi...and she seems to be okay now.I salute her and pray for her....not to scared anymore.Later...we both had to go..and I let go of they three...wish Sumi...in happiness.
While then.....
Time:11.00pm
Location:The garden site.....
We both talk about life...as she cuddle me from the side...and my life were inside her heart as I ever know.I told her about friendship...life..and what went on now.She just listen to me...and Sumi...Oh Gosh...wish we could help her.....
Then....the moon rise slowly and the stars...was very little.I can see everyone of it.And my hand...was freeze...
Law were sleeping in my room all I know he knows how to do is sleep and eat.....==''
Later.....
Time:12.10am....
Location:Room 15....
I send her back to her room...and tell her to rest.I put her on bed and I didn't kiss her forehead yet.I hope...I'll help her.I lay her down...and let go...and close the door and look at Sumi room door.I understand how is the feeling if we lost the love one.
Later....
Time:Now..............
Location:Room 14..........
I was alone in my room.....looking the moon myself at the window and look at my life.Was I too sad or....was I????
Sumi...wish we understand us too and about you...we just like you..who lost a brother.Hope...I know what is meant to be.
And also....now....my tears still flows.....and my heart...sad....hurt...like use to be....when her gone.
I hope...I could help everyone.
And hope....................................is fragile..................
To Be Continued...............................
Benny Liew................(What has meant to be a hope???Is it...fragile????Or is it........simple..)..............................
Saturday, May 1, 2010
La vie En Rose......(Life Shade as Rose)......
Eyes that gaze into mine,
A smile that is lost on his lips,
That is the unretouched portrait,
Of the man to whom I belong.
When he takes me in his arms,
And speaks softly to me,
I see life in rosy hues.
He tells me words of love,
Words of every day,
And in them I become something.
He has entered my heart,
A part of happiness.
Where of I understand the reason.
It’s he for me and I for him, throughout life,
He has told me, he has sworn to me, for life.
And from the things that I sense,
Now I can feel within me,
My heart that beats.
In endless nights of love,
A great delight that comes about,
The pains and bothers are banished,
Happy, happy to die of love.
When he takes me in his arms,
And speaks softly to me,
I see life in rosy hues.
He tells me words of love,
Words of every day,
And in them I become something.
He has entered my heart,
A part of happiness.
Where of I understand the reason,
It’s he for me and I for him, throughout life,
He has told me, he has sworn to me, for life.
And from the things that I sense,
Now I can feel within me,
My heart that beats.....................................................
(From Edith Piath,1991).................
A smile that is lost on his lips,
That is the unretouched portrait,
Of the man to whom I belong.
When he takes me in his arms,
And speaks softly to me,
I see life in rosy hues.
He tells me words of love,
Words of every day,
And in them I become something.
He has entered my heart,
A part of happiness.
Where of I understand the reason.
It’s he for me and I for him, throughout life,
He has told me, he has sworn to me, for life.
And from the things that I sense,
Now I can feel within me,
My heart that beats.
In endless nights of love,
A great delight that comes about,
The pains and bothers are banished,
Happy, happy to die of love.
When he takes me in his arms,
And speaks softly to me,
I see life in rosy hues.
He tells me words of love,
Words of every day,
And in them I become something.
He has entered my heart,
A part of happiness.
Where of I understand the reason,
It’s he for me and I for him, throughout life,
He has told me, he has sworn to me, for life.
And from the things that I sense,
Now I can feel within me,
My heart that beats.....................................................
(From Edith Piath,1991).................
Friday, April 30, 2010
Worry of my dear....(Smile)
Time:12.00am
date:01.May.2010
Location:Room 15....
I didn't know now it was May...and this year will going fast.I hope...I can turn back..but..we can't...cause...it's time.
Today....it was chill...
Time:09.20am
Location:Room 14....
I woke up..and I know..she had fever again..so,I not going to school and take care of her.Yesterday night..I didn't dream a thing.Just cool and chill off..
I went to the bathroom and clean up..after that..change my cloth.Then...I open Wendy room..look inside and see if she still sleeping...and she still.I touch her forehead and still a little hot...kinda warm.I just pray for her and walk out the door.
Miss.Landlady and Ka Zi woke up and went to the kitchen..so,I went to the kitchen..ask Miss.Landlady if she got any "panadols".She gave me two and I thanked her.I went back to her room..and she was awake.I got a bottle of mineral water and two panadols...her eyes were blur so I just help her up.She try too but can't...and she feels like wanna sleep back.So..I let her seat and rest.
Time:10.00am
Location:Room 15....
She was okay..and I gave her medicine..and a water.She try to hug me aside but...she really really fell asleep.Can't think a second I lay her down and blanket her.I was so worry.
Later.....I plan to take her to clinic later..and hopefully I got a better cure for her.
So...I went to the garden site and seat down...rest and look up...thinking...and holding the ring I got.
Then...I saw Ian and Mui Mui..walking aside...they saw me and greet me.I just wave my hand.
I walk back to my room..and rest...on the alarm at 01.30pm...and later I wanna take Wendy to clinic.I ask Ka Zi and she told me she will take us there.
Then...I had to rest..and sleep....and mind thinking.......
ZZZZzzzzzzzzzz......................................
Time:01.20pm
Location:Room 14...
Woke up late....a bit...then..I went to her room...........told Wendy to wake up....pull her up and take her.Told her to change and she did..but very slowly.She just finish and Ka Zi ready her car.
I had to piggy back her....and put her in the car.
Then....
"Clinic Ragavan"...I told Ka Zi...
Time:02.00pm
Location:Clinic....
I bring her to the doctor and then...he treat her..and told us she had suffer of hot and cold temperature fever.She cannot stand hot for sometimes.So..the doctor had to inject her some medicine and gave us medicine.I had to pay...and it's for her.
Later...Ka Zi ask me her condition...and she was okay.I was a little worry...and her hands were with me...as I always do.
Time:05.30pm
Location:Room 15....
I was in her room...she was online and talk with her friends for a moment...in Facebook and I was happy to know she was okay now...a little...and I smile at her,as she was smile at me too and thanked me.It was my responsibility like I promise to her parents a month ago.
Later....she wanna rest for a while and her heart beating were cool down..as I touch her heart side...and I know...she'll be fine.
Time:08.00pm
Location:Dining room........
Later...Nick call us and it's dinner...Wendy looks like wanna take a meal..so...she can heal up and go on.
I had to carry her a side and help her a little.
Miss.Landlady ask us about her condition and she said she'll fine.I hope she'll fine as fast as possible.Mui Mui help her and gave her vegetable too.
She smile at her and thanked her...and I like when she smiles....her sweet smiles.
Later...I told Mui Mui carry her to her room and told her to wait for me...so..I help Miss.Landlady clean the table..wash the plates and cups...then...the spoon and fork too.Miss.Landlady thanked me but...I should thanked her.I hold her shoulder..and said.."You been a good care of us...and I should be thankful"........she just smile at me.
Later....
Time:11.00pm
Location:Room 15........
I went in her room..help her...talk to her and laugh...about our life when we were young..and still remember about it.Then...Law barked twice and look at us.Wendy shook it's head and I hug it up.It lick my face and look at us both.She said.."You both look cute and she take a photo...of us three...we three were seating and Law were looking infront.It was a perfect shot!!Tomorrow I will frame it.Then...Law went under the bed and sleep...like little lazy dog puppy..hahaha....
Then...she wanna rest too...so,I blanket her..hold her hand and close our eyes,pray for us and kiss her forehead...and say "See ya"..as I walk outside.She look at me..and I close the door.I really love her...but...this time..it would be.
Time:Now......
location:Room 14............
I online and look sadly....and remember a song....it's about smile...and the title is SMILE....
Smile though your heart is aching,
Smile even though it's breaking,
When there are clouds in the sky,
You'll get by
If you smile through your fear and sorrow,
Smile and maybe tomorrow,
You'll see the sun come shining through for you.
Light up your face with gladness,
Hide every trace of sadness,
Although a tear may be ever so near,
That's the time you must keep on trying,
Smile what's the use of crying,
You'll find that life is still worthwhile,
If you just smile.
When there are clouds in the sky you'll get by,
If you smile,
And maybe tomorrow,
You'll see the sun come shining through for you.
Light up your face with gladness,
Hide every trace of sadness,
Although a tear may be ever so near,
That's the time you must keep on trying,
Smile what's the use of crying,
You'll find that life is still worthwhile,
If you just smile...............
(For you...all..my dears....)
Hopefully she will be as always...smile...in my warm heart...
Now...I look infront of my laptop...holding the ring....and hopefully she will be fine...and Miss.Landlady too...hopefully she will be chill always from busy.
Well....looks like I got to end now.and Wendy....smile always...and be chill...
To Be Continued.......................
Benny Liew.............(Smile...as if you just smile..and my heart will feel warm)..................
date:01.May.2010
Location:Room 15....
I didn't know now it was May...and this year will going fast.I hope...I can turn back..but..we can't...cause...it's time.
Today....it was chill...
Time:09.20am
Location:Room 14....
I woke up..and I know..she had fever again..so,I not going to school and take care of her.Yesterday night..I didn't dream a thing.Just cool and chill off..
I went to the bathroom and clean up..after that..change my cloth.Then...I open Wendy room..look inside and see if she still sleeping...and she still.I touch her forehead and still a little hot...kinda warm.I just pray for her and walk out the door.
Miss.Landlady and Ka Zi woke up and went to the kitchen..so,I went to the kitchen..ask Miss.Landlady if she got any "panadols".She gave me two and I thanked her.I went back to her room..and she was awake.I got a bottle of mineral water and two panadols...her eyes were blur so I just help her up.She try too but can't...and she feels like wanna sleep back.So..I let her seat and rest.
Time:10.00am
Location:Room 15....
She was okay..and I gave her medicine..and a water.She try to hug me aside but...she really really fell asleep.Can't think a second I lay her down and blanket her.I was so worry.
Later.....I plan to take her to clinic later..and hopefully I got a better cure for her.
So...I went to the garden site and seat down...rest and look up...thinking...and holding the ring I got.
Then...I saw Ian and Mui Mui..walking aside...they saw me and greet me.I just wave my hand.
I walk back to my room..and rest...on the alarm at 01.30pm...and later I wanna take Wendy to clinic.I ask Ka Zi and she told me she will take us there.
Then...I had to rest..and sleep....and mind thinking.......
ZZZZzzzzzzzzzz......................................
Time:01.20pm
Location:Room 14...
Woke up late....a bit...then..I went to her room...........told Wendy to wake up....pull her up and take her.Told her to change and she did..but very slowly.She just finish and Ka Zi ready her car.
I had to piggy back her....and put her in the car.
Then....
"Clinic Ragavan"...I told Ka Zi...
Time:02.00pm
Location:Clinic....
I bring her to the doctor and then...he treat her..and told us she had suffer of hot and cold temperature fever.She cannot stand hot for sometimes.So..the doctor had to inject her some medicine and gave us medicine.I had to pay...and it's for her.
Later...Ka Zi ask me her condition...and she was okay.I was a little worry...and her hands were with me...as I always do.
Time:05.30pm
Location:Room 15....
I was in her room...she was online and talk with her friends for a moment...in Facebook and I was happy to know she was okay now...a little...and I smile at her,as she was smile at me too and thanked me.It was my responsibility like I promise to her parents a month ago.
Later....she wanna rest for a while and her heart beating were cool down..as I touch her heart side...and I know...she'll be fine.
Time:08.00pm
Location:Dining room........
Later...Nick call us and it's dinner...Wendy looks like wanna take a meal..so...she can heal up and go on.
I had to carry her a side and help her a little.
Miss.Landlady ask us about her condition and she said she'll fine.I hope she'll fine as fast as possible.Mui Mui help her and gave her vegetable too.
She smile at her and thanked her...and I like when she smiles....her sweet smiles.
Later...I told Mui Mui carry her to her room and told her to wait for me...so..I help Miss.Landlady clean the table..wash the plates and cups...then...the spoon and fork too.Miss.Landlady thanked me but...I should thanked her.I hold her shoulder..and said.."You been a good care of us...and I should be thankful"........she just smile at me.
Later....
Time:11.00pm
Location:Room 15........
I went in her room..help her...talk to her and laugh...about our life when we were young..and still remember about it.Then...Law barked twice and look at us.Wendy shook it's head and I hug it up.It lick my face and look at us both.She said.."You both look cute and she take a photo...of us three...we three were seating and Law were looking infront.It was a perfect shot!!Tomorrow I will frame it.Then...Law went under the bed and sleep...like little lazy dog puppy..hahaha....
Then...she wanna rest too...so,I blanket her..hold her hand and close our eyes,pray for us and kiss her forehead...and say "See ya"..as I walk outside.She look at me..and I close the door.I really love her...but...this time..it would be.
Time:Now......
location:Room 14............
I online and look sadly....and remember a song....it's about smile...and the title is SMILE....
Smile though your heart is aching,
Smile even though it's breaking,
When there are clouds in the sky,
You'll get by
If you smile through your fear and sorrow,
Smile and maybe tomorrow,
You'll see the sun come shining through for you.
Light up your face with gladness,
Hide every trace of sadness,
Although a tear may be ever so near,
That's the time you must keep on trying,
Smile what's the use of crying,
You'll find that life is still worthwhile,
If you just smile.
When there are clouds in the sky you'll get by,
If you smile,
And maybe tomorrow,
You'll see the sun come shining through for you.
Light up your face with gladness,
Hide every trace of sadness,
Although a tear may be ever so near,
That's the time you must keep on trying,
Smile what's the use of crying,
You'll find that life is still worthwhile,
If you just smile...............
(For you...all..my dears....)
Hopefully she will be as always...smile...in my warm heart...
Now...I look infront of my laptop...holding the ring....and hopefully she will be fine...and Miss.Landlady too...hopefully she will be chill always from busy.
Well....looks like I got to end now.and Wendy....smile always...and be chill...
To Be Continued.......................
Benny Liew.............(Smile...as if you just smile..and my heart will feel warm)..................
Thursday, April 29, 2010
Can't stop what happen actually...
Time:11.24pm
Date:29.April.2010
Location:Room 14...
I dreamed again last night..and still,the same.Can't really know what's going on now..and my head spin where I go round and round.Well....
Last night....
Time:Between 12.30am..
Location:Corridor...
Wendy and me were seating at the corridor...looking up...where the white moon shines.Still remind me..that...heresy.But who cares....and who does?
I talk to Wendy about study life where we want to go on if we success but she said that success is a hope where is lies under your destiny.I understand that.Thanks...
Then....her eyes were wanted to sleep..so,I had to piggy back her...and put her to bed.I blanket her and told her to sleep well...and kiss her head and sleep on her sofa...with my big blanket.
ZZzzzzzzz..............
Time:05.00am
Location:Room 15...
I though I put my alarm at 05.50am but...she wake me up at 05.00am...it still so early so,I decided to iron my cloths and prepare everything for school.Miss.Landlady wake up earliest...and she prepare breakfast to everyone.I ate bread with jellybeans..and sweet.Thanks....to you,Miss.Landlady...
Time:06.30am
Location:On the way....to school...
Ka Zi send us to school and she wanted to go work earlier.I don't know she had a job.
Don't want to know....about my 8 hours crap plus 3 hours of academics.As usual...help Riby..study....see left and right...thinking...and this!??...GOSH!!!..
Time:05.20pm
Location:SMKTK canteen
Waited for Uncle Jo...he arrives late again..feel like wanna break his fishing rod but nevermind...I don't care...and I hope so.
While on the way home..Uncle Jo tell me that Wendy is sick.I was shocked!!!Really???And he said "Yes".
Location:Home...
Time:06.00pm
I rush to my room...take my shower and change...then..I meet Wendy...she was weak.Oh no...it's all my fault..came home late...
Then...ask her..if she is okay..and she said she was fine.I know..she needed someone accompany her...and she was asleep.
Later...I went into my room..feeling disappointed of myself.What have I done??...sigh...then..on my laptop...chat with Riby...about the bluetooth device...not bluetooth detector....and see if does really can install to her laptop...and it does.
Later...she call me...and I went to her room...bring warm water.She don't want it..and I hold her hand.She was okay..still can laugh with me.
Later....I also feeling sleepy and I pray for her...heal...
Time:07.50pm
Location:Dining room...
Mui Mui ask me if Wendy is alright...and I hold her shoulder said.."She'll be fine".Mui Mui just look down...and tell me she was not well in school also.Must'a be the hot weather.
Sigh..........
I didn't eat dinner...just enjoy a little soup..and take a bowl of hot soup to her room...
Time:08.12pm
Location:Room 15...
I know she hungry...so,I bring hot soup and rice to her room.I take the spoon..feed her a little by little...making me worry and worse is...it touch me.Remind..me...I..can't do it.I look at her...and she smile at me...still...I..sigh....I just stand my cries behind...not to cry...and I try...
Later....she wanted to rest...but to hear music too...so,I bring my mini speaker and on in her room..hopefully my pendrives still enough memory..well..it does.
She hearing it sweetly..and I look at her...kiss her head and told her go sleep...and let go....she really really does remind me one thing.
Time:Now.....
Location:Room 14....
I went out for a while...seat at the pond alone..with Mui Mui and Miss.Landlady...talking about her health condition...they both really worry.I also...and they both...ask me.."Ben..Wendy hope is yours"..and my face were blush.Mui Mui laugh and tease us.I stop her...then..it was late.Mui Mui had to sleep early..so..I tell her to sleep early and Miss.Landlady want to rest too...so..they gone for themselves.
I went to my room...online...blogging here...and prepare my cloths..looking back...and hopefully she'll be fine.
I pray just now...and my tears drip one by one..can't really stand.Look at it also...can't feel what is happiness for 10 times.Oh...hopeful my hope.
Well...I had to end here...my tears were stop..still cool...try to chill too.Well..I read my books for a while and look at my laptop...hearing music.
Well...looks like I had to end here...and see you all...later...maybe....and Wendy...sleep well..and also...hopefully you'll be fine and be school next week.
To Be Continued............................................
Benny Liew........(I pray you pink,health and good wealth...and also...I love you doesn't enough at all...)..................................................
Date:29.April.2010
Location:Room 14...
I dreamed again last night..and still,the same.Can't really know what's going on now..and my head spin where I go round and round.Well....
Last night....
Time:Between 12.30am..
Location:Corridor...
Wendy and me were seating at the corridor...looking up...where the white moon shines.Still remind me..that...heresy.But who cares....and who does?
I talk to Wendy about study life where we want to go on if we success but she said that success is a hope where is lies under your destiny.I understand that.Thanks...
Then....her eyes were wanted to sleep..so,I had to piggy back her...and put her to bed.I blanket her and told her to sleep well...and kiss her head and sleep on her sofa...with my big blanket.
ZZzzzzzzz..............
Time:05.00am
Location:Room 15...
I though I put my alarm at 05.50am but...she wake me up at 05.00am...it still so early so,I decided to iron my cloths and prepare everything for school.Miss.Landlady wake up earliest...and she prepare breakfast to everyone.I ate bread with jellybeans..and sweet.Thanks....to you,Miss.Landlady...
Time:06.30am
Location:On the way....to school...
Ka Zi send us to school and she wanted to go work earlier.I don't know she had a job.
Don't want to know....about my 8 hours crap plus 3 hours of academics.As usual...help Riby..study....see left and right...thinking...and this!??...GOSH!!!..
Time:05.20pm
Location:SMKTK canteen
Waited for Uncle Jo...he arrives late again..feel like wanna break his fishing rod but nevermind...I don't care...and I hope so.
While on the way home..Uncle Jo tell me that Wendy is sick.I was shocked!!!Really???And he said "Yes".
Location:Home...
Time:06.00pm
I rush to my room...take my shower and change...then..I meet Wendy...she was weak.Oh no...it's all my fault..came home late...
Then...ask her..if she is okay..and she said she was fine.I know..she needed someone accompany her...and she was asleep.
Later...I went into my room..feeling disappointed of myself.What have I done??...sigh...then..on my laptop...chat with Riby...about the bluetooth device...not bluetooth detector....and see if does really can install to her laptop...and it does.
Later...she call me...and I went to her room...bring warm water.She don't want it..and I hold her hand.She was okay..still can laugh with me.
Later....I also feeling sleepy and I pray for her...heal...
Time:07.50pm
Location:Dining room...
Mui Mui ask me if Wendy is alright...and I hold her shoulder said.."She'll be fine".Mui Mui just look down...and tell me she was not well in school also.Must'a be the hot weather.
Sigh..........
I didn't eat dinner...just enjoy a little soup..and take a bowl of hot soup to her room...
Time:08.12pm
Location:Room 15...
I know she hungry...so,I bring hot soup and rice to her room.I take the spoon..feed her a little by little...making me worry and worse is...it touch me.Remind..me...I..can't do it.I look at her...and she smile at me...still...I..sigh....I just stand my cries behind...not to cry...and I try...
Later....she wanted to rest...but to hear music too...so,I bring my mini speaker and on in her room..hopefully my pendrives still enough memory..well..it does.
She hearing it sweetly..and I look at her...kiss her head and told her go sleep...and let go....she really really does remind me one thing.
Time:Now.....
Location:Room 14....
I went out for a while...seat at the pond alone..with Mui Mui and Miss.Landlady...talking about her health condition...they both really worry.I also...and they both...ask me.."Ben..Wendy hope is yours"..and my face were blush.Mui Mui laugh and tease us.I stop her...then..it was late.Mui Mui had to sleep early..so..I tell her to sleep early and Miss.Landlady want to rest too...so..they gone for themselves.
I went to my room...online...blogging here...and prepare my cloths..looking back...and hopefully she'll be fine.
I pray just now...and my tears drip one by one..can't really stand.Look at it also...can't feel what is happiness for 10 times.Oh...hopeful my hope.
Well...I had to end here...my tears were stop..still cool...try to chill too.Well..I read my books for a while and look at my laptop...hearing music.
Well...looks like I had to end here...and see you all...later...maybe....and Wendy...sleep well..and also...hopefully you'll be fine and be school next week.
To Be Continued............................................
Benny Liew........(I pray you pink,health and good wealth...and also...I love you doesn't enough at all...)..................................................
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