Time:06.10pm
Location:At the garden
Date:26.March.2010
I heard many birds sounds here and flying freely around.I saw them fly happily.Then...I still remember my nightmare since 3 year ago.
Date:07.September.2008
Location: Home
Time:Not remember(Between 3 or 4am I guess)
I was dreaming....and dreaming this nightmare...it repeats and repeats again since I was young....I had no idea what happen.I even cry that time.
I still remember my parents fight and divorce,lost my own friend,hysteria,lost my own best pet....and now??? I don't want to repeat the same thing again...I don't want to lose anyone already especial to my dear one...my friends...my family....my life even not sure where it stands....
I also don't know why am I being a fool like this...sometimes I being fool by friends....making me feeling lonely alone....the jealousy of them...looking me suffered alone in this deadly moment....not to suicide....believe what am I....and I dreamed a nightmare that giving cared alone and told me to choose....
Now...my tears were dripping from my cheek till the floor...
My mother....now I don't even know where she is....my friends...now having busy for their life...as I don't want to disturb them in their life...I leave them alone and I just walk it alone....leaving them to be happy and I just leave them only....and none of them is my business....
Time:Between 11pm...
Date:31.December.2009
Location:Methodist Church
I still remember what did Pastor Siew told me...."If your life is miserable,you can pray and ask for God help to you.He will listen to you and know what you will feel"
I did...but...it might need time....
I also don't know what happen....if I leave them....where is my sign??
Then...I started to be alone....never mind.....
Year:Present...2010
I decided to started a new life now.....with my dad and brother...although without my mother...I know she still love us...
I now walking to a path of wisdom...where my life is not a tragedy.....will walk together with one another......
Bitter sweet might bring in my life....I try to forget what happen to me...I couldn't....like my friend...she told me to forget it...that...wasn't easy she can thought...it was a foolish idea to forget it.......
What about my life?...Will I do whatever it takes to forget it?...No...Not really actually....how to forget it?...Just one past like that?...It was my life...I can't do it...I still remember it....till the end although it's a bitter memories....
Who cares anyway.....
Now...
I become weird lately....no more alone....life is like not in a simple way....living what is alone is not a treacherous life....I am happy now for them....
I now...being it....
Somedays I might feels like dying...maybe I am go on of this thing...maybe friendship will go on forever....maybe...can I go on my life....with a night on a dark sky?
I will remember it till the end....
To everyone....sorry....what I have done and I will walk it alone.....or maybe not.......you all don't even know what is behind my face and identity....
I am not the person you may know now.....I am....another one....you might not fully know who am I yet...
Sometimes a promise words can be break....like a forever words....can be useless.....and it never being forever at all......means a break promise....now...I can't trust anyone anymore already....except certain friends and family....the untrust is the unworthy now...even now..is very hard to trust the dear to me....
I'm sorry.....
Benny Liew........
Smile as always....being life is not easy....and.....thanks.....to you.....
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